For. Fuck’s. Sake

I sometimes write creatively perhaps in a way which isn't always immediately obvious, especially when partially-inspired by personal experiences. I enjoy writing in first-person with a subtly-satirical style. Please read tags if unsure! I came out here for some peace and quietWhich was going just fine, untilThat Mr. Musk moved in next door Now even … Continue reading For. Fuck’s. Sake →

Honorary Membership

We questioned why we'd need to be a part of their defence pact, when hitherto we'd known nothing of aliens. They convinced us that we were soon to cross a threshold of coming onto the radar of advanced civilisations across the galaxy (including the nefarious ones). To sweeten the deal they offered us something we … Continue reading Honorary Membership →

House Of Horrors

What if they won't believe me,Now that things happen to be cleaner? The new Salvation Army helper,Knows only of the current state of things; Oh, two years of horrendous experiences,Indescribable imagery flashing before my mind's eye,All I can offer is examples,Struggling to form the sentences…How can you describe that? What if they won't believe me,Now … Continue reading House Of Horrors →

Technical Service Bulletin: NON-OFFICIAL

Please be aware that in order to ensure compliance with the upcoming 5G switch-on, All carriers are advised to immediately switch over to the alternate frequency band for aircraft radio altimetry. “The presence of 5G C-band interference can result in degraded deceleration performance, increased landing distance and runway excursion” “The presence of radio altimetry C-band … Continue reading Technical Service Bulletin: NON-OFFICIAL →

Dismembering

I'm…freaked out! I was checking my camera recordings just to see if the bin men came today (rather than just check the bin 😂), then randomly noticed there were tons of recordings this evening so looked at a couple to see what they were— just a lot of people walking or driving past today. I … Continue reading Dismembering →

Cookie Dough

The assembly line whirred past,As the chief architect watched on,Delighted at seeing his own designs coming to fruition;Legs,Arms,Torsos,Like an orchestra at work in a beautiful composition; "Over here is where neural imprinting takes place,The templated patterns of behaviour are encoded", The chief architect motioned towards an assembly line moving considerably faster than the others— "And … Continue reading Cookie Dough →

No More Words

It was funny how even now, not much had changed;Funny, terrifying, surreal,It would be hard to sum it up in words,Complex emotions we'd never expected to feel;All the same, at some fundamental level we'd remained blissfully, wilfully unaware,These final few months; As the sky began to blot out,The darkening, growing shadow falling across the upper … Continue reading No More Words →

Summer Solutions

A spider is not a creature,It's an event, And when one happens,I lose several hours,It's disgusting; Insectrol insect killing spray does work, however,As does essential oil repellant, But it tried to move even after I stamped on it twice,I was absolutely horrified; I had to wait until daylight before I was bold enough to sweep … Continue reading Summer Solutions →

Yesterday

I sat in my garden, looking around at the lovely plants,And thought to myself— Ahhh, watering can,A new watering can would be a good idea,There're too many plants now for the small one, And one of those little pop-up greenhouses,I could grow some tomatoes, And some new pots would be grand, the rhododendrons are getting … Continue reading Yesterday →

Up On The Gallows: PART 2

Could you guys make room for a third up there?That's it…shuffle along! (Can I just grab an extra stool, please? Thanks),Just plop yourself on there…that's it; Right— any last words!?Landlord, you first… I…I…n-n-need to m-m-make a phone call! And who would you like to call? The c-c-council! Ok…it's ringing and on speaker… He's growing weed! … Continue reading Up On The Gallows: PART 2 →