#PunchAProtestor

Download HM Government's PunchAProtestor app todayAnd#PunchAProtestor; Our central automatic facial-recognition systemsProvide real-time overlaysIdentifying and highlighting in red any protestor individuals in your line of sight; As a registered userAnd upstanding citizenℒ️You have complete legal immunity to punch down on any undesirables crossing your path. NEW!Go handsfree with Meta Civil Unrest Sidequest ProSponsored by Met Police. … Continue reading #PunchAProtestor →

Mum I hath Foreseen!

Plebβ€”I've just returned from a time-like translationYou won't believe what you're about to get up to A what? Time travel, plebYou should see the state of you!You're about to jump onto that golden state carriageScreaming anti-royal slogansLike a lunatic…You know what this means, don't you? 😁 What? You are under arrestYou do not have to … Continue reading Mum I hath Foreseen! →

Weird Eurovision Experience

Last night's Eurovision semi-final was the first Eurovision show I've watched in about 20 years. I've been listening to some of the entrants' songs through youtube for a month already, so I was familiar with the skills and production quality of the various artists, including many of their great live performances. I had to give … Continue reading Weird Eurovision Experience →

My Eurovision Top 3 Lol

I've got into the Eurovision song contest this year. I always thought it was a great celebration of European (plus Australian) democracy and freedom of expression and creativity, and exposure to different cultures and languages. But the UK didn't take it seriously until recently which put me off. Not that I like this year's entry … Continue reading My Eurovision Top 3 Lol →

Because We Said So

Ouawww mayyte, you over thereConspicuous individuals!Yes, you!Can we have your rape alarms?You are under arrestOn suspicion of potentially thinking aboutPossibly maybeAt some point in the future should circumstances conspireOf helping a target womenYes that's a plural when it should be singularOn a night outSo hit the deckPut your arms behind your backWe don't support your … Continue reading Because We Said So →

Suspicion of Conspiracy To Cause Public Nuisance

Yesterday I became a fervent anti-monarchist. Until yesterday I was happy to let the monarchy fade into irrelevance. It's obvious that Commonwealth countries are soon going to want to ditch it (I think within 5-10 years). It makes no sense at all for them to not separate from the British monarchy. This week the government … Continue reading Suspicion of Conspiracy To Cause Public Nuisance →

I Sniffed My Hamster πŸΉ

I managed to sniff CroΓ»ton! I've always loved smelling cute animals πŸ˜†, but from the beginning with CroΓ»ton I knew this would be a long shot. From the initial days of her disdainfully recoiling from the slightest smell of my fingers, to resting a paw on my finger to get a treat, to resting on … Continue reading I Sniffed My Hamster πŸΉ →

Space To Be You

The International Committee on Human Mouth Noises Has sided with The UK's Labour Party Over plans to Place convicted slockers Into Low-Earth orbit; I wasn't going to vote Labour in the next General Election but this single issue might sway me. Under the plans Labour estimates Up to thirty percent Of the UK's population Could … Continue reading Space To Be You →