Dismembering

Anxiety 1 Minute

I’m…freaked out! I was checking my camera recordings just to see if the bin men came today (rather than just check the bin πŸ˜‚), then randomly noticed there were tons of recordings this evening so looked at a couple to see what they wereβ€” just a lot of people walking or driving past today.

I was just clicking out of the second video clip and about to close the app when I swore I heard the very beginnings of some loud vocal noise…even though I knew I was asleep at the time of the recording.

I went back and allowed the clip to play again and was not prepared for the loud guttural scream which blasted out through my earphones, out of nowhere.

“FAAAAAHHHHCK!!!! WHY WON’T YOU LOOK!?”,

It was absolutely chilling. Then I checked another one:

“WHAT.IS.WRONG.WITH.YOU??”,

And this one spoken with a very haunting, zombie-like accent or as a robot on low battery power. I would have laughed if not for the demonic voice. Then I remembered that I woke up (about an hour later) remembering a dream in which I was agitated and trying to relay to someone that I remembered a thing. I thought it was interesting because of the embedded dream memory there, thus why I remembered remembering it. I’d almost forgotten this but then I remembered remembering remembering all of this. Perhaps it was related.

I never knew that there were times when I was screaming in my sleep without waking up, as I’ve woken up screaming plenty of times. That alone is quite terrifying especially thinking about the fact that housemates must hear it all the time. I’ve been told before by people that I talk in my sleep and have occasionally wondered what I would hear if I recorded myself whilst sleeping.

Now I know I never want to hear myself sleeping. Especially not at the moment.

On the other hand it could be an interesting source of writing prompts? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜±πŸ˜¬

Photo by Kultbrecher on Unsplash

πŸŒͺ

Published by 𝑹𝒐𝑩𝑰𝑡 πŸͺ

I write poems which are mental health-themed, creative or humourous :). Within mental health I write a lot about: ADHD, OCD, anxiety, autism, emotional traumaβ€” usually with an optimistic slant. My goals for my blog are to give myself a therapeutic, creative outlet whilst also being able to connect with and relate to other people.

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13 thoughts on “Dismembering”

      1. See I’m the sort of person who could be floating alone in outer space, billions of light years from another soul, and still turn red remembering some dumb thing I did twenty years ago.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow RoBIN I just wrote a post about this last week. I do the exact same thing! From what I have been told some of my screams sound like what you described, some are just mumbles, and some I am just talking or calling out to someone. Such a strange coincidence we both are writing about it. Guess we have more in common besides ocd πŸ€”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I know I read that post! I meant to comment on it. At the time I thought I only had the waking up and restless sleeping in common. But what timing haha. And yes people always told me it was mumbling. I always wondered if they were just being polite πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”.

      Amazing that we have those two things in common yes, it’s interesting. I am sure there is a correlation between ocd and restless sleeping.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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