For. Fuck’s. Sake

I sometimes write creatively perhaps in a way which isn't always immediately obvious, especially when partially-inspired by personal experiences. I enjoy writing in first-person with a subtly-satirical style. Please read tags if unsure! I came out here for some peace and quietWhich was going just fine, untilThat Mr. Musk moved in next door Now even … Continue reading For. Fuck’s. Sake

‘Guilty’ Is Such A Loaded Term

Minister for schoolsDenies eating live babyOn Breakfast TV The government minister for schools has denied eating a live baby live on BBC Breakfast TV. Live, on Breakfast TVAn actual government ministerHas denied eating an actual live babyLiveOn Breakfast TV; We take accusations of this nature very seriouslyThe matter will be thoroughly investigated internally It is … Continue reading ‘Guilty’ Is Such A Loaded Term

Meltdown 3

UltimatePower They said they didn't knowWith what World War Three would be foughtBut World War Four would be fought with sticks and stones How prescient, not to presume; Nuclear-war induced stalemateHad just about kept the peace between the largest nations and alliancesGiven us a twentieth-century golden age We survived thatOnly forA true singularity to come … Continue reading Meltdown 3

Meltdown 2

Starmer, StarmerToo good for solid matter Starmer, StarmerCannot keep his own atoms together Labour build a StarMOATAs Sir Kier turns to literal jelly; And he stood, glass in hand,In the middle of the House of Commons,Gloating over the deconstituted Leader of the Opposition,And downed a pint of Starmer, And we realised,That the culture war, media … Continue reading Meltdown 2

Meltdown

Wait for the reportWait for the police investigationWait for the warWait for the local electionWait for the reportWait for the jubileeWait for the vote of no-confidenceWait for the by-electionWait for the second vote of no-confidenceWait for the general electionWait for the monkeypox outbreakWait for the droughtWait for the floodWait for the famine They needed another … Continue reading Meltdown

Waste Not Want Not

Conservationists have issued a dire warningAfter latest studies indicate the Great PPE reef has lost up to 10% of biodiversity over the last 5 years; As use of illegal agricultural pestibots increasesSo-called 'bleaching' events have become more and more commonResulting in large swathes of the PPE bed becoming uninhabitable; Pestibotsβ€” the internationally-outlawed nanobotsAre washed into … Continue reading Waste Not Want Not

Technical Service Bulletin: NON-OFFICIAL

Please be aware that in order to ensure compliance with the upcoming 5G switch-on, All carriers are advised to immediately switch over to the alternate frequency band for aircraft radio altimetry. β€œThe presence of 5G C-band interference can result in degraded deceleration performance, increased landing distance and runway excursion” β€œThe presence of radio altimetry C-band … Continue reading Technical Service Bulletin: NON-OFFICIAL