Whenever the benefits advisor warns me that the Work Capability Assessment process might take agesβ e.g. getting the Jobcentre work coach to actually arrange one, then getting a form, then getting an assessment date, then finally getting a decisionβ I always respond that it's fine with me, and I don't mind, because it's 'extra time'. … Continue reading Fight Response
Tag: Anxiety
Horses For Courses For Farces
Left with time to spare and set out on the scooterβ flat tyre. Shit shit shit, back inside, google a taxi company! Messaged the benefits advisor to tell him I was behind on time now, but got there in time anyway. Then he told me that he was very sorry but would have to leave … Continue reading Horses For Courses For Farces
A Concerning Detail
I received a weird response from the benefits advisor after emailing him this week to double-check that he's still ok to come to the Work Capability Assessment next Tuesday morning. Considering the fact that he wasn't able to come to my first one back in February 2020 (which went against me), and his subsequent emphatic … Continue reading A Concerning Detail
OCD
It's been a long five days since speaking to that therapist on the phone, because I had the option of having an appointment on Thursday, too. I knew I needed a few more days for my sleep to adjust to make it more practicable. So I chose Tuesday this week for the first one, at … Continue reading OCD
Found A Psychologist
I accepted the necessity of finding a remote specialist and this morning found one based in Edinburgh of all places (where I've previously lived for 6 years), whom I called up to schedule a free consultation call. Her website was very promising since she mostly spoke about OCD, complex trauma and PTSD. On the call … Continue reading Found A Psychologist
Selfish Bastard :)
Yeahβ¦no, it's completely not realistic for me to do this whole two-day trip. I was originally planning it as a single afternoon/evening for a reason, and even that wasn't sensible. It's one thing to feel like doing it in moments when I happen to feel better and more capable, but it's when I need to … Continue reading Selfish Bastard π
Everything On The Table
Man I'm really struggling. I used to be able to find some real optimism and motivation, a goal that I could focus on to take precedence over the OCD, even throughout that ordeal in the shared house. For example one of those times was learning to grow house plants, then collecting them, with the idealistic … Continue reading Everything On The Table
Updates
I'm basically surviving in the same mental state as I was in the hell house. The main limitation for 18 months has been a particularly consuming OCD compulsion. Everything else (including blogging) depends on overcoming that, which I am able to do for variable periods. I've said this before. Once I can do that, everything … Continue reading Updates
A Sense Of Foreboding π
Uhhh my Universal Credit commitments have randomly changed to expecting me to look for work, coinciding (coincidentally) with having a different, male* work coach for my next appointment. I have a task in my Todo List asking me to 'accept the commitments agreed with my work coach'. I've just written a message saying that the … Continue reading A Sense Of Foreboding π
Busy With Tasks
I've been very busy since moving into the new place. First I was researching and ordering a few things I neededβ a clothes dryer, a washing machine. Then I was researching carpets, getting a quote done and going to a carpet shop to order one. And planning ahead to figure out how I can most … Continue reading Busy With Tasks
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