Everything On The Table

Man I'm really struggling. I used to be able to find some real optimism and motivation, a goal that I could focus on to take precedence over the OCD, even throughout that ordeal in the shared house. For example one of those times was learning to grow house plants, then collecting them, with the idealistic … Continue reading Everything On The Table

A Sense Of Foreboding πŸ˜

Uhhh my Universal Credit commitments have randomly changed to expecting me to look for work, coinciding (coincidentally) with having a different, male* work coach for my next appointment. I have a task in my Todo List asking me to 'accept the commitments agreed with my work coach'. I've just written a message saying that the … Continue reading A Sense Of Foreboding πŸ˜

OCD, Uncertainty and Minor Miracles

Since moving into this new, less stressful placeI've been making an extra pushTo fight my worst OCD compulsions Through the haze and confusion and anxietyI have been realising, only in glimpsesMy new situationThe reality of it; Wow it's not easyResisting OCDReaching junctures upon which you could go backwardsOr continue the improvement forwards; Last week,I joined … Continue reading OCD, Uncertainty and Minor Miracles

Work Capability Assessment

I went to Stepping Forward today to complete the Work Capability Assessment form. It's the final hurdle I need to pass before I feel I can breathe a sigh of relief, since being deemed not capable of working is essential for me to maintain receiving Universal Credit (incl. rent payments) without being forced to look … Continue reading Work Capability Assessment

We Won Get Over It

Trying to work it outHow, why, whatWhereforeThe fuck have I ended up hereAnd where to go nowWhich way is NorthTrying to work it the fuck out? Laughable; The compass needle is spinningYet the direction is obviousLook to the skyDon't need all those fancy constructed toolsFollow the light; We won,Get over it πŸ˜‚. We weren't even … Continue reading We Won Get Over It

An OCD Cycle

No OCD starting from now…Waitβ€”One last thing Right, no OCD starting from nowWait, no no,No OCD starting from NOW Damnit there was an annoying soundNow I'm itchingNow OCD starting from now… What the fuck? Shut the hell up πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Wait no that phrase reminds me of dismissive people from my past and traumatic memories… Argggh … Continue reading An OCD Cycle