Space To Be You

The International Committee on Human Mouth Noises Has sided with The UK's Labour Party Over plans to Place convicted slockers Into Low-Earth orbit; I wasn't going to vote Labour in the next General Election but this single issue might sway me. Under the plans Labour estimates Up to thirty percent Of the UK's population Could … Continue reading Space To Be You →

Croûton Is Still Cute

I'm making a push to connect with people again, I've been stuck for quite a while. I was very successfully connecting with people in 2019-2020, but 2021-2022 really wore me down. Self-sabotage and anxiety keep getting in the way of attending in-person meet-up groups, but I was overlooking the lower barrier to entry of blogging, … Continue reading Croûton Is Still Cute →

Fight Response

Whenever the benefits advisor warns me that the Work Capability Assessment process might take ages— e.g. getting the Jobcentre work coach to actually arrange one, then getting a form, then getting an assessment date, then finally getting a decision— I always respond that it's fine with me, and I don't mind, because it's 'extra time'. … Continue reading Fight Response →

Horses For Courses For Farces

Left with time to spare and set out on the scooter— flat tyre. Shit shit shit, back inside, google a taxi company! Messaged the benefits advisor to tell him I was behind on time now, but got there in time anyway. Then he told me that he was very sorry but would have to leave … Continue reading Horses For Courses For Farces →

A Concerning Detail

I received a weird response from the benefits advisor after emailing him this week to double-check that he's still ok to come to the Work Capability Assessment next Tuesday morning. Considering the fact that he wasn't able to come to my first one back in February 2020 (which went against me), and his subsequent emphatic … Continue reading A Concerning Detail →

OCD

It's been a long five days since speaking to that therapist on the phone, because I had the option of having an appointment on Thursday, too. I knew I needed a few more days for my sleep to adjust to make it more practicable. So I chose Tuesday this week for the first one, at … Continue reading OCD →

Found A Psychologist

I accepted the necessity of finding a remote specialist and this morning found one based in Edinburgh of all places (where I've previously lived for 6 years), whom I called up to schedule a free consultation call. Her website was very promising since she mostly spoke about OCD, complex trauma and PTSD. On the call … Continue reading Found A Psychologist →

Selfish Bastard :)

Yeah…no, it's completely not realistic for me to do this whole two-day trip. I was originally planning it as a single afternoon/evening for a reason, and even that wasn't sensible. It's one thing to feel like doing it in moments when I happen to feel better and more capable, but it's when I need to … Continue reading Selfish Bastard 🙂 →

Everything On The Table

Man I'm really struggling. I used to be able to find some real optimism and motivation, a goal that I could focus on to take precedence over the OCD, even throughout that ordeal in the shared house. For example one of those times was learning to grow house plants, then collecting them, with the idealistic … Continue reading Everything On The Table →

Updates

I'm basically surviving in the same mental state as I was in the hell house. The main limitation for 18 months has been a particularly consuming OCD compulsion. Everything else (including blogging) depends on overcoming that, which I am able to do for variable periods. I've said this before. Once I can do that, everything … Continue reading Updates →