Croûton Is Still Cute

I'm making a push to connect with people again, I've been stuck for quite a while. I was very successfully connecting with people in 2019-2020, but 2021-2022 really wore me down. Self-sabotage and anxiety keep getting in the way of attending in-person meet-up groups, but I was overlooking the lower barrier to entry of blogging, … Continue reading Croûton Is Still Cute →

Happy Hamsters Feedback

Happy Hamsters finally gave me feedback and apologised for the delay! Was weird as they were replying very quickly before but then it was most of 2 days for this final hurdle. Anyway I just need to get some vegetable/flower/herb forage mix from a pet shop, which they love and it helps encourage them to … Continue reading Happy Hamsters Feedback →

Hamster Enclosure Painting

I've finally finished preparing my hamster enclosure (painting and varnishing it with pet-safe paints). It's really dragged out painfully over many days (12) due to a combination of having to manage OCD alongside— practising ERP to avoid feeding it— and some trial and error and learning about painting wooden furniture. There were also some modifications … Continue reading Hamster Enclosure Painting →

Hamster Preparations

I've made so much progress in sorting through my possessions and either selling them on eBay, giving them away through Freecycle or throwing them away if they weren't useable. All of this clutter has a tangible affect on my thinking, which I've always known but the pull of OCD was stronger. Overcoming OCD to be … Continue reading Hamster Preparations →

Emotional Support Amster

I can't hold back any longer, I'm committed to getting an emotional support hamster! I've been more functional in the last week and finally after 6 months of living here I've been able to start organising and tidying things properly, selling some things I don't need on ebay and throwing away or donating other things. … Continue reading Emotional Support Amster →

Voluntary Medical Procedures

After recently reading a blog post about giving blood, I decided to face my blood-related queasiness and give it a try. "Don't think about it, just do it!"— that was all I needed to hear lol. It's a personal affront to be seen to be 'dithering' or 'faffing'. Usually blood tests make me feel weird … Continue reading Voluntary Medical Procedures →

They Have Decided

I have finally 'won' and had a benefits decision go in my favour. The very language of 'winning' and 'losing' comes naturally throughout these processes yet is very telling and is very fucked. Of course, they weaselled out of the back-payment when I didn't even know that that was 'optional'. Thus the state suffers absolutely … Continue reading They Have Decided →

At A Crosswords (Part 2)

I started with doing the Private Eye prize crossword (every 2 weeks) which gives a single £100 prize for each crossword. I used a couple of the older ones to practice with, then used online crossword tools to help solve the current ones. Even with the online tools it still took me until the 4th … Continue reading At A Crosswords (Part 2) →

At A Crosswords (Part 1)

I'm at something of a crosswords. I've managed to begin doing cryptic crosswords in the last few months, which is something I was never able to do before even when OCD wasn't affecting me. But during a moment of optimism I decided to start and actually learn how to do them, hoping to have something … Continue reading At A Crosswords (Part 1) →

A Concerning Detail

I received a weird response from the benefits advisor after emailing him this week to double-check that he's still ok to come to the Work Capability Assessment next Tuesday morning. Considering the fact that he wasn't able to come to my first one back in February 2020 (which went against me), and his subsequent emphatic … Continue reading A Concerning Detail →