Bracing For The No

I phoned Launchpad earlier, to update them on my housing/court hearing situation, and to ask about the possibility of them putting me on the waiting list for a 1-bedroom place rather than a shared place now that I am closer to my 35th birthday. Since the council has only offered 2 viewings so far in 2 months and is talking about “really struggling with properties at the moment”, it makes sense for Launchpad to make me a priority again now.

However, when I phoned up they acted like they didn’t know me 😆😆😆. I first went through the assessment with them last September, they accepted me onto the list, then phoned me back themselves in January for an update. So for them not to have access to some kind of record of my existence is a bit worrying…they said they would need to go and ask about something and would call me back.

Needless to say they didn’t call me back. So I emailed them with all the info I wanted to explain. I’ll wait for a reply tomorrow. Honestly I cannot envisage any other scenario at the end of May than a disaster, another crisis point, when the court decision goes in the landlord’s favour and I’ll still have no housing option, let alone a suitable one.

It made me think about all the noes I’ve heard in life. I’ve heard some surprising yeses but when I think about it, all those examples involved me having done something within my control to ‘earn’ it. Whereas whenever it’s entirely out of my control, such as this…well, it’s a familiar pattern. I am only wondering just how bad it will be.

Oh…and emotional and psychological abuse are just as bad as physical/sexual abuse. Yes they fucking are. There is a strong argument for it being worse, since nobody fucking believes you. Just as much as I am falling through my own gaps I have the privilege of seeing someone else fall through theirs. It makes me sick. Emotional/psychological abuse are the point (from the perspective of any kind of abuser or narcissist), no matter how they manifest it.

🌪