Download HM Government's PunchAProtestor app todayAnd#PunchAProtestor; Our central automatic facial-recognition systemsProvide real-time overlaysIdentifying and highlighting in red any protestor individuals in your line of sight; As a registered userAnd upstanding citizenβ’οΈYou have complete legal immunity to punch down on any undesirables crossing your path. NEW!Go handsfree with Meta Civil Unrest Sidequest ProSponsored by Met Police. … Continue reading #PunchAProtestor
Category: Poem
Mum I hath Foreseen!
PlebβI've just returned from a time-like translationYou won't believe what you're about to get up to A what? Time travel, plebYou should see the state of you!You're about to jump onto that golden state carriageScreaming anti-royal slogansLike a lunaticβ¦You know what this means, don't you? π What? You are under arrestYou do not have to … Continue reading Mum I hath Foreseen!
Because We Said So
Ouawww mayyte, you over thereConspicuous individuals!Yes, you!Can we have your rape alarms?You are under arrestOn suspicion of potentially thinking aboutPossibly maybeAt some point in the future should circumstances conspireOf helping a target womenYes that's a plural when it should be singularOn a night outSo hit the deckPut your arms behind your backWe don't support your … Continue reading Because We Said So
Space To Be You
The International Committee on Human Mouth Noises Has sided with The UK's Labour Party Over plans to Place convicted slockers Into Low-Earth orbit; I wasn't going to vote Labour in the next General Election but this single issue might sway me. Under the plans Labour estimates Up to thirty percent Of the UK's population Could … Continue reading Space To Be You
Queen Of Kings πΉ
She, queen of the kingsRunnin' so fast, beatin' the windNothin' in this world can stop the spread of her wingsShe, queen of the kingsBroken her cage, threw out the keysShe will be the warrior of Northern Syria! πͺοΈ
Sensory Cataclysm
A universe rendedSpherical shockwave of disturbance roaring outwardSide-effects propagating at the speed of sound and lightSecondary rips in the fabric of eveningAt gradually reducing amplitudesYet no less cataclysmic as the motorbike rounds distant corners and the prick riding it recedes into the far distanceAnd only thenCan it no longer be heardBut the anticipation, frustration and … Continue reading Sensory Cataclysm
Fitting In
My uncle was a dyed-in-the-wool fascist Oh good Good what? That he died in the war. In any way shape or formIβm no way snake nor fawnEach and every one of usTo all intents and purposes(and those in tents and porpoises)Complete and utter disregardIt beggars sheer beliefThisDyed in the woolDied in the wallCard carryingCertain segment … Continue reading Fitting In
(Un)Welcome To The Hotel United Kingdom
We will ensureThat not just anybodyWill be allowed entryInto the United Kingdom's Modern Slavery System; Indeed, anybody whom happens to beSex-trafficked here illegallyWill not be allowed the same rights as UK slavesFor UK slaves are afforded more rights than any other slavesInThe world; Moreover, those would-be slavesCrossing in their billions in make-shift boatsWhom do not … Continue reading (Un)Welcome To The Hotel United Kingdom
I’m Adopting An Older Hamster
I got an instagram account just so I could follow Happy Hamsters UK. I have to grit my teeth whilst using it though. This brief delve into social media has revealed a far-progressed and sophisticated digital dystopia. Anyway here are some pictures of a hamster named Etta whom I've reserved! I noticed she kept being … Continue reading I’m Adopting An Older Hamster
Hamster Enclosures
If you live in the UK could you please sign this petition to improve small animal enclosure standards, and try to share with 1 or 2 people? That's all that's required on average for exponential growth! Bacteria know it. I'm aware of the common skepticism around petitions! My view is that they do no harm … Continue reading Hamster Enclosures
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