Toilet Headlines

Leading toilet paper manufacturers have criticised the UK government for not doing enough to stir up 'toilet paper panic' amongst the public, following reports that packets of premium toilet roll still remain on shelves in some supermarkets. The government has responded by imposing indefinite national lockdown from next Thursday onwards. You couldn't make it up! … Continue reading Toilet Headlines

Toilet Paper Detected On Venus

Astronomers have confirmed the detection of signs of toilet paper in the atmosphere of Venus. "Venus has a very dense, hot atmosphere but we know that at high altitudes of 50 kilometers or so the temperature and pressure are both pretty Earth-like. Toilet paper could stay aloft indefinitely in Venus' clouds". Scientists pointed out that … Continue reading Toilet Paper Detected On Venus

Toilet Research

Scientists admit controversial findings from latest coronavirus researchβ€” The presence of large quantities of toilet paper improves peoples' chances of surviving coronavirus; "Due to a quirk in the shape of the viral envelope protein and the molecular structure of toilet paper…Toilet paper acts like a sponge,Effectively 'scrubbing' the air of coronavirus particles,Thus…Those who've stockpiled massive … Continue reading Toilet Research

White Matters

Ways to use up a toilet roll surplus: Hamster obstacle course,Marble run,Toilet paper roll angel,Tissue-box guitar,Toilet paper roll bracelet,Toilet paper roll crown,Toilet paper throneβ€” when you play the game of clowns...Build a toilet paper fort,Toilet paper fightβ€” imagine the toilet rolls are snowballs,Toilet paper Fortniteβ€” combine the above two. πŸŒͺ

New World Currency Conversions

Spare change β€” hand sanitiser,Fiver β€” sheet of own-brand value toilet paper (Morrisons Saver, Asda Smart Price...),Darwin β€” sheet of own-brand standard toilet paper,Pony β€” sheet of Andrex,Bullseye β€” sheet of scented toilet paper,Ton β€” wet wipe,Monkey β€” fresh roll of Ponies,Grand β€” box of tissues,Jackpot β€” unopened pack of wet wipes. πŸŒͺ