Exhausting Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours

Dealing with somatic OCD and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours,Whilst doing things,Is exhausting and painful,And yet things need to be done,So in the last 2 years they've been done in this tedious, exhausting way, And then once the cleaning task (which has taken up the entire day, precluding even thinking about the next thing I had planned … Continue reading Exhausting Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours

Trying, Trying Not To Dissociate

It's so hard to be absorbed in repetitive OCD body tic obsessions,To this extent,I've been suspending disbelief, living day by day,Hour by hour,Knowing that it's a temporary holding period,Biding my time, playing the survival game,Until I can really start to improve; I started seeing a counsellor last Friday,And I have another appointment today,It's a huge … Continue reading Trying, Trying Not To Dissociate

The Shadow Of Dread

What does somatic OCD,Combined with Just Right OCD,Mean?? It meansβ€” No, you're not supposed to tell them!Jesus Christ,You can't tell anybody!!It's our little secret slice of crazy pie! …Hahahaha!It means blowing your nose on repeat! Nooooooo!!!It hurtsss usss! It means being overly aware of the 'snottiness' or not of your nose,But, never being satisfied with … Continue reading The Shadow Of Dread

Salvation From Salivation

Who knew,That salivating could be so captivating? I put a lot of concentration,Into stopping muscular-tensing,But it's often said,That OCD's very creative; And over-salivation requires less concentration,Than abdominal-tensing,β€”For it happens automatically! I can't even salivate on-demand,Usually (obviously),But such is OCD's powerβ€”You need only think the word,β€”When you don't want to,That is; Come on, man,I'm trying to … Continue reading Salvation From Salivation

My Self-Sabotaged Existence

Damn...I've got to stop doing this thing,This abdominal muscular tensing; I actually got out of the habit,Over the last few days,β€”Which really helped me to feel better,And it's been easy to keep at bay; β€”For once it's become ingrained,The urge to do it,Really is involuntary, But once I've 'snapped out' of it,It's really easy to … Continue reading My Self-Sabotaged Existence

Tourettes-Like Demons

Oh dear,This is exhausting, As well as the ruminating,β€”This Tourettes-like muscle tensing; I usually have both,At the same time,And increases in rumination,Mean increases in tensing; But even without rumination,Or even OCD,Still, there's the battle,With endless stomach-crunching; β€”Fine, you know what,I'll come clean,Here is the full f***ing list,Of my Tourettes-like things: Voluntary blinking,Voluntary abdominal tensing,Voluntary eye … Continue reading Tourettes-Like Demons