How Do You Sleep At Night? Huh?

How do you sleep at night?Taking so much from me, F***ing OCD,Trauma-coping mechanisms; These past two years,All of those experiencesβ€” Trying to play instruments,Trying to read a book,Meeting up with a friend,The daytime drives, the night drives,Everything which might bring me joy,Triggers in me, instead, anxiety and fear,Retreat into distracting and numbing mental routines,β€”Putting the … Continue reading How Do You Sleep At Night? Huh?

Self-Sabotaging Again!

I'm sabotaging myself again,By doing this tensing thing, Turning something I enjoy,And find relaxing,(Being busy),Into something very stressful,And headache-creating; My personality is changing,My identity is going,β€”I've turned from being me,Focused and determined,Into a withering mess; OCD is strongly tied up with identity,For me,And those things which strengthen my identity,Proportionately reduce OCD, And OCD itself,Whittles down … Continue reading Self-Sabotaging Again!

My Self-Sabotaged Existence

Damn...I've got to stop doing this thing,This abdominal muscular tensing; I actually got out of the habit,Over the last few days,β€”Which really helped me to feel better,And it's been easy to keep at bay; β€”For once it's become ingrained,The urge to do it,Really is involuntary, But once I've 'snapped out' of it,It's really easy to … Continue reading My Self-Sabotaged Existence