Radioisotope Queen

"I've been reading these old-time history books about Queen Elizabeth II's reign, they're fascinating. The mass psychosisβ€”" "Oh yeah, which reign?" "…Which reign?" "Yeahβ€” first or second reign?" "I don't think he knows about second reign…" "Well, after five years of King Charles III, everyone just kind of thoughtβ€” can't we have the Queen back? … Continue reading Radioisotope Queen

Meltdown 3

UltimatePower They said they didn't knowWith what World War Three would be foughtBut World War Four would be fought with sticks and stones How prescient, not to presume; Nuclear-war induced stalemateHad just about kept the peace between the largest nations and alliancesGiven us a twentieth-century golden age We survived thatOnly forA true singularity to come … Continue reading Meltdown 3

Meltdown 2

Starmer, StarmerToo good for solid matter Starmer, StarmerCannot keep his own atoms together Labour build a StarMOATAs Sir Kier turns to literal jelly; And he stood, glass in hand,In the middle of the House of Commons,Gloating over the deconstituted Leader of the Opposition,And downed a pint of Starmer, And we realised,That the culture war, media … Continue reading Meltdown 2

Waste Not Want Not

Conservationists have issued a dire warningAfter latest studies indicate the Great PPE reef has lost up to 10% of biodiversity over the last 5 years; As use of illegal agricultural pestibots increasesSo-called 'bleaching' events have become more and more commonResulting in large swathes of the PPE bed becoming uninhabitable; Pestibotsβ€” the internationally-outlawed nanobotsAre washed into … Continue reading Waste Not Want Not

An Unexpected Invitation

Scientists always came through when you needed them,Hence, finally, a first rough translation: CongratulationsAlive post-carbon machinesWorried we, a long durationAlive post-nuclearSomehowWelcome So we'd learned of a concerted effort to avoid contact,Certain milestones they'd needed to see, first,Us meeting strict criteria as to the ideal moment for mutual benefit; They wanted to invite us, now,To join … Continue reading An Unexpected Invitation

Order of the Supreme Court: SMITH vs. STATE

TheparticularvaccinatedpassengerindividualWas extractedfrom theaircraftAnd subjectedto teststo determinesusceptibilityto systematic5G microwavecoercionIt wasdetermined thatdespite beingtriple-vaccinatedAnd upon beingadministeredwith a furtherbooster shotTheparticularpassengerindividualIs immune toEnhanced 5GQuantum-PhaseSuperpositionalControlIt isthereforetheunanimousjudgementof thiscourtAnd in thepublicinterestThat theparticularvaccinatedpassengerindividualShall befucking shot. πŸŒͺ

Cookie Dough

The assembly line whirred past,As the chief architect watched on,Delighted at seeing his own designs coming to fruition;Legs,Arms,Torsos,Like an orchestra at work in a beautiful composition; "Over here is where neural imprinting takes place,The templated patterns of behaviour are encoded", The chief architect motioned towards an assembly line moving considerably faster than the othersβ€” "And … Continue reading Cookie Dough

Things I Have In Common With Fernando Alonso

Natural ability at go-karting"Neck and shoulders of a boxer, legs of a cyclist"Infinite staminaSense of humourLatin temperament1.72m vs 1.71m tall (I'm taller)Both 68kg in weight (in physical prime)Only take part in competitive things where we have a chance of winningOnly happy with winning, anything else is devastatingPassion for (taking part in) all forms of motorsportWide … Continue reading Things I Have In Common With Fernando Alonso