Minister for schoolsDenies eating live babyOn Breakfast TV The government minister for schools has denied eating a live baby live on BBC Breakfast TV. Live, on Breakfast TVAn actual government ministerHas denied eating an actual live babyLiveOn Breakfast TV; We take accusations of this nature very seriouslyThe matter will be thoroughly investigated internally It is … Continue reading ‘Guilty’ Is Such A Loaded Term
Tag: Satire
Meltdown 2
Starmer, StarmerToo good for solid matter Starmer, StarmerCannot keep his own atoms together Labour build a StarMOATAs Sir Kier turns to literal jelly; And he stood, glass in hand,In the middle of the House of Commons,Gloating over the deconstituted Leader of the Opposition,And downed a pint of Starmer, And we realised,That the culture war, media … Continue reading Meltdown 2
Meltdown
Wait for the reportWait for the police investigationWait for the warWait for the local electionWait for the reportWait for the jubileeWait for the vote of no-confidenceWait for the by-electionWait for the second vote of no-confidenceWait for the general electionWait for the monkeypox outbreakWait for the droughtWait for the floodWait for the famine They needed another … Continue reading Meltdown
Waste Not Want Not
Conservationists have issued a dire warningAfter latest studies indicate the Great PPE reef has lost up to 10% of biodiversity over the last 5 years; As use of illegal agricultural pestibots increasesSo-called 'bleaching' events have become more and more commonResulting in large swathes of the PPE bed becoming uninhabitable; Pestibotsβ the internationally-outlawed nanobotsAre washed into … Continue reading Waste Not Want Not
Robin’s Rubric
The ease with which a subject may be satirisedIs in rough proportion to the cynicism which conceived it. πͺ
Reductio Ad Absurdum
There weren't any parties I didn't attend any parties It was a work meeting I was only there for twenty minutes I was boosting team morale I only had one drink Nobody told me I was drunk It wasn't a birthday party That's not music I've never had a birthday Nobody told me it was … Continue reading Reductio Ad Absurdum
Technical Service Bulletin: NON-OFFICIAL
Please be aware that in order to ensure compliance with the upcoming 5G switch-on, All carriers are advised to immediately switch over to the alternate frequency band for aircraft radio altimetry. βThe presence of 5G C-band interference can result in degraded deceleration performance, increased landing distance and runway excursionβ βThe presence of radio altimetry C-band … Continue reading Technical Service Bulletin: NON-OFFICIAL
Five Questions
Captain Smith, it's been two weeks since your incredibleβ¦unbelievable rescue from the Pacific Ocean,How are you holding up!? Oh, ahβ¦It's been a crazy two weeks that's for sure. Considering everything, I'm doing very well, thank you! It's amazing how the body recovers when it has what it needs. Is it true that you wrestled a … Continue reading Five Questions
Sadomachoism
How am I the first to invent this word or at least to type it intentionally on the internet? Only 963 search results, all of them porn; Make of that what you will about how it reflects on literacy standards in the porn industry; But, in fact sadomachoism is an apt word for the concept … Continue reading Sadomachoism
Opportunities For Vaccination
It's the moment you've all been waiting for,The culmination of the global vaccination war, The pathway before us is paved with the dead,Wake up, get movingβ¦to pay off our debts! Put down your guns,Pick up the needles,Relinquish your power,To the governmenthuman-harvestingmachine!! I've never been so full of life before,As my veins are pumped through with … Continue reading Opportunities For Vaccination