#PunchAProtestor

Download HM Government's PunchAProtestor app todayAnd#PunchAProtestor; Our central automatic facial-recognition systemsProvide real-time overlaysIdentifying and highlighting in red any protestor individuals in your line of sight; As a registered userAnd upstanding citizen™️You have complete legal immunity to punch down on any undesirables crossing your path. NEW!Go handsfree with Meta Civil Unrest Sidequest ProSponsored by Met Police. … Continue reading #PunchAProtestor →

Mum I hath Foreseen!

Pleb—I've just returned from a time-like translationYou won't believe what you're about to get up to A what? Time travel, plebYou should see the state of you!You're about to jump onto that golden state carriageScreaming anti-royal slogansLike a lunatic…You know what this means, don't you? 😁 What? You are under arrestYou do not have to … Continue reading Mum I hath Foreseen! →

Because We Said So

Ouawww mayyte, you over thereConspicuous individuals!Yes, you!Can we have your rape alarms?You are under arrestOn suspicion of potentially thinking aboutPossibly maybeAt some point in the future should circumstances conspireOf helping a target womenYes that's a plural when it should be singularOn a night outSo hit the deckPut your arms behind your backWe don't support your … Continue reading Because We Said So →

Well Well Well…

I am subscribed to newsletters from the Good Law Project and donated a few £ to their cause on uncovering this particular shocking piece of corruption…There's no escaping the law, even when you are the law. You can delay and perjure and pervert the course of justice but it catches up eventually. As each day … Continue reading Well Well Well… →

The Plods Come Marching…AGAIN!

Seriously, I have enough I'm dealing with…with OCD, trying to accomplish things, and I was lying on my bed recovering from the stress of it all having finally managed to wash, when… knock knock knock What the fuck. Knocking on my window again, seriously? I waited… knock knock knock Checked my security camera feed…black vests … Continue reading The Plods Come Marching…AGAIN! →

Housemate F Is Gone!!??

Ding dong housemate F is dead 😂. It seems that the wanted housemate's lock has been replaced!!! I just went out the front of the house and saw a couple of discarded door locks on a shelf by the front door 👀👀👀. He's already been barred from the house!!?? Probably had an actual court eviction … Continue reading Housemate F Is Gone!!?? →

Incidents In The Middle Of The Night

Ok, so…I heard a knocking in the middle of the night, on my window once again,Was already tense because I'd stayed up to find out what happened in the F1 race, I was nervous about it because of a dangerous track, I'd really just wanted to check nobody died;Just finished watching it when I thought … Continue reading Incidents In The Middle Of The Night →

Attempted Break-In

https://vimeo.com/547903784 https://vimeo.com/547903948 https://vimeo.com/547903877 I immediately uploaded these videos and emailed them to the council, asking for the Samaritans to call or come round. Council assured me Samaritans would call ASAP, although I've had no call yet. I then phoned 101 to report the incident to police and to try to ask for officers to come … Continue reading Attempted Break-In →

I Filed A Police Complaint

You better believe I'm speaking up about these things. Here is the text from my formal police complaint which I just filed, after the events from yesterday: "I dialled 999 at 11:30 on Thursday 29th April 2021, when my letting agent along with what sounded like a few other angry and threatening people, unlocked my … Continue reading I Filed A Police Complaint →

Waiting

I,Need,Family to help me,Somehow find a privately-rented place to myself,Which is on a ground floor,And which accepts benefit payments to pay for the rent,Which is actually impossible,Because what I am describing is a bungalow,And any landlord of a bungalow will NEVER except housing benefit to pay for rent,So I'm back to square one; Since it … Continue reading Waiting →