Ladies and gentlemen,Boys and girls…Monsters,And,Zombies! Okay—There are zero of those in the first two categories present here…We have only… monsters,And,Zombiess!!! What do we have…? … Well!?Come on! M–m–m-m… Spit it out, spit it out!We haven't got all day,We've around ten minutes, in fact,Before my next appointment!What are we…?? M-m-monsters! And…? Z-z-z-z-zombies! Yes!And what happens to … Continue reading Everyone’s A Winner!
Oh it's a beautiful night,A beautiful night,Oh it's a beautiful night,To be buried alive, alright! Oh it's a beautiful night… Anybody have any song suggestions?No??Come on, guys,At least sing along with me! Oh, well,There's not far to go now, anyways,And I know just the spot,Nice and secluded :); I bet you didn't imagine that you'd … Continue reading Midnight Road Trip
One, two, one, two…All the ones, go to Mars— Wait, no!!I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'll be clean from now on,I'll do whatever you want!I promise!! Oh, what could be worse,Than being sent to Mars! You'll certainly die instantly,Don't worry;Well, almost instantly… Please…Let me go instead of housemate C!!I'll go to Mars! Empathy? Odd time to begin … Continue reading Twin Fates
Throw them all into a black hole,The lot of them,And observe their spaghettification; Spaghettification is an astrophysical term,To describe the tidal stretching,Of an object experiencing a steep gravitational gradient; Throw them all in,They'll be stretched into spaghetti, Moreover, this will take a nice while,From our perspective, fortunately, As this gory vision,And their screams of pain,Will … Continue reading Dreams 3
If you go out of your room today,You're in for a big surprise,If you go out of your room today,To go looking for supplies,Well every drink that ever there was,Is spilled on the floor for certain,Because today's the day the,Housemate got drunk for breakfast. If you go out of your room today,You're in for a … Continue reading Demons
You don't 'believe' in all this,Coronavirus,You take exception to the,Advice over hand-shaking, You take exception to the,Need for tactically coughing,For you are so used to,Openly and unabashedly sneezing,Without covering,(In your own words),And vehemently within your rights; You take exception to the,Need for and importance of rational thought, You take exception to the,Doing anything even slightly … Continue reading You Won’t Then You Shan’t…
As housemate B walked along the street,They noticed something shiny down at their feet— Oh my!Unopened cigarettes! And it was the finest 20-pack,They'd ever smoked; Disappointed,Finishing the last one,They turned the box hopefully,Upside down, Folded, inside,Was a small piece of Rizla,And on that Rizla,A message read— "SMOKING KILLS...So does saying 'cigarettes' in the mirror" —Huh?Was … Continue reading The Penitence Maker 🙂
Arrayed, before me,Three housemates sat,Obligingly, and somewhat stiffly,Since their hands were tied— The first,The housemate,Who'd spawned a cigarette-end ocean,Covering the garden,Overflown into the kitchen... Second,The housemate,Who'd urinated everywhere,All over the bathroom,Spoiling the nice cleaning, Lastly—The screaming,Writhing,Blood-thirsty, infected one; They were quite the sight! The first one—I made them eat...A cigarette-end sandwich,From their own discarded ends; … Continue reading Penitence Service