Everyone’s A Winner!

Ladies and gentlemen,Boys and girls…Monsters,And,Zombies! Okayβ€”There are zero of those in the first two categories present here…We have only… monsters,And,Zombiess!!! What do we have…? … Well!?Come on! M–m–m-m… Spit it out, spit it out!We haven't got all day,We've around ten minutes, in fact,Before my next appointment!What are we…?? M-m-monsters! And…? Z-z-z-z-zombies! Yes!And what happens to … Continue reading Everyone’s A Winner!

Midnight Road Trip

Oh it's a beautiful night,A beautiful night,Oh it's a beautiful night,To be buried alive, alright! Oh it's a beautiful night… Anybody have any song suggestions?No??Come on, guys,At least sing along with me! Oh, well,There's not far to go now, anyways,And I know just the spot,Nice and secluded :); I bet you didn't imagine that you'd … Continue reading Midnight Road Trip

Twin Fates

One, two, one, two…All the ones, go to Marsβ€” Wait, no!!I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'll be clean from now on,I'll do whatever you want!I promise!! Oh, what could be worse,Than being sent to Mars! You'll certainly die instantly,Don't worry;Well, almost instantly… Please…Let me go instead of housemate C!!I'll go to Mars! Empathy? Odd time to begin … Continue reading Twin Fates

Dreams 3

Throw them all into a black hole,The lot of them,And observe their spaghettification; Spaghettification is an astrophysical term,To describe the tidal stretching,Of an object experiencing a steep gravitational gradient; Throw them all in,They'll be stretched into spaghetti, Moreover, this will take a nice while,From our perspective, fortunately, As this gory vision,And their screams of pain,Will … Continue reading Dreams 3

You Won’t Then You Shan’t…

You don't 'believe' in all this,Coronavirus,You take exception to the,Advice over hand-shaking, You take exception to the,Need for tactically coughing,For you are so used to,Openly and unabashedly sneezing,Without covering,(In your own words),And vehemently within your rights; You take exception to the,Need for and importance of rational thought, You take exception to the,Doing anything even slightly … Continue reading You Won’t Then You Shan’t…

The Penitence Maker πŸ™‚

As housemate B walked along the street,They noticed something shiny down at their feetβ€” Oh my!Unopened cigarettes! And it was the finest 20-pack,They'd ever smoked; Disappointed,Finishing the last one,They turned the box hopefully,Upside down, Folded, inside,Was a small piece of Rizla,And on that Rizla,A message readβ€” "SMOKING KILLS...So does saying 'cigarettes' in the mirror" β€”Huh?Was … Continue reading The Penitence Maker πŸ™‚

Penitence Service

Arrayed, before me,Three housemates sat,Obligingly, and somewhat stiffly,Since their hands were tiedβ€” The first,The housemate,Who'd spawned a cigarette-end ocean,Covering the garden,Overflown into the kitchen... Second,The housemate,Who'd urinated everywhere,All over the bathroom,Spoiling the nice cleaning, Lastlyβ€”The screaming,Writhing,Blood-thirsty, infected one; They were quite the sight! The first oneβ€”I made them eat...A cigarette-end sandwich,From their own discarded ends; … Continue reading Penitence Service