Friday Night

On Friday evening last week in Bristol, I was feeling fine and in no more discomfort with the tooth than I'd been in for a couple of weeks. During the week before the trip, I'd been steadily advancing my body clock forwards a few hours each day, as initially I was in a phase completely … Continue reading Friday Night →

Ups And Downs

I need to take the same approachWith the arthritisAs with mental health— Enjoy the ups and the periods of clarityWithout judgement or guilt or rumination And when it hurts, try not to project onwardsFrom the current sensationsThis only makes it worse When I think back, I rememberRemarkable phases of ups and downs with knee painAnd … Continue reading Ups And Downs →

Hell In OCD

I've had a particular OCD compulsion which has been consuming me all year,Taking up several hours or more of each day,It's so incredibly intrusive and pernicious,To do with readiness, not being agitated by a physical discomfort, I repeat the compulsion which solves an imaginary problem, The point is that more than any other compulsion it's … Continue reading Hell In OCD →

Emotional Intuition And Sensitivity

I want to do what I canTo help people in abuse situationsAnd raise awarenessOf the signs Because the most important signs are so obvious to some peopleAnd not to others;We need to do all we canTo get everybody on the same page; There's nothing that hurts me more…Than seeing somebody else in that kind of … Continue reading Emotional Intuition And Sensitivity →

Dealing With Thoughts Of Defeatedness

Too much pain,Too much suffering,Too much loss,Creeping feelings of abject apathy and meaninglessness; I need to take a break—Back to action,Helping others where I can,Whilst giving myself what I need,Everything with the best intentions and thoughtfulness,That's all I can do,And it's enough; Anything else is self-defeating. Enjoy this photo of this strange-looking plant I was … Continue reading Dealing With Thoughts Of Defeatedness →

Moderna Vaccinated!

I got Moderna vaccinated! It hurt like hell, as with all instances of having a super sharp, fine piece of metal jabbed into you (so don't believe anybody who says it doesn't— they must not have feelings). That's not to say I reacted or flinched— I just took in a deep breath. But it did … Continue reading Moderna Vaccinated! →

Proud Of Myself

Warning— this is a lengthy impromptu monologue/summary of my last 2 years! I am sticking to Sundays for the long story posts, but this is a one-off. By all means read selectively or not at all! And thank you greatly for reading. I can't wait to start going through it all with the therapist. It's … Continue reading Proud Of Myself →

I Miss It, I Need It

I want to play along with,The Civil Wars again,I want to play their music out,In an environment that,Does the music justice,Where the music can be heard,Engaged with,And,Fully experienced, I want to pick up my guitar again,And feel in the mood to,Fall in love again,It was the happiest I've been, I've really missed it. Once I … Continue reading I Miss It, I Need It →

Hints Of Lost Feelings

Brief moments, when,I'm feeling a hint of that feeling,Which allowed me to write beautifully,To write optimistically and creatively, Or to play musical instruments happily,Fingers plucking guitar strings,Dancing over the fretboard,Intuitively, knowingly, Or to play favourite songs on piano,And sing along, in harmony,Freedom to practice,Freedom to perfect,Freedom to explore,A heart feeling free and not chained to … Continue reading Hints Of Lost Feelings →

Rebirth

After self-inflicted pain and torment,Is possible a rebirth, It's always possible,To stop looking back and to move forwards, And in doing so,In truly moving onwards positively again,You connect with your fundamental self,Connect with your deep-seated, but hidden self-compassion, It's always possible,And it's always worth it,And it's just such a relief,To leave that torment behind! After … Continue reading Rebirth →