Things I Have In Common With Fernando Alonso

Natural ability at go-karting"Neck and shoulders of a boxer, legs of a cyclist"Infinite staminaSense of humourLatin temperament1.72m vs 1.71m tall (I'm taller)Both 68kg in weight (in physical prime)Only take part in competitive things where we have a chance of winningOnly happy with winning, anything else is devastatingPassion for (taking part in) all forms of motorsportWide … Continue reading Things I Have In Common With Fernando Alonso →

War Spirit

Interesting that I take strength from war documentaries and dramas,The irrational nonchalance and dark humour in a tough situation,Controlling the urge to complain,Despite the overarching questionable circumstances and incompetence of upper management; Looking for morality in the situation is futile,It is a war,Each day brings many new battles and each battle is different,Fuck-ups and trauma … Continue reading War Spirit →

The Three Margateers ☘️

Cringe warning. Margarita, my second ever plant (I now have 27!!), gave her body for the advancement of science. Not really— she got infected 😭. Yet she lives on through the Three Margateers. Grown from her cuttings, they have all now been potted and named after starting life in a glass of water. Margarita, in … Continue reading The Three Margateers ☘️ →

Some Progress

Typed upfull incident log,Printed outtwo copies,Samaritans chatted to me in my room, Fuck yes, they were really nice,Supportive,Non-dismissive,Marked down'Condition of tenant's room'as'Excellent',"Like being in a spa"they said,"Keep it like this"they said,bathed in lavender;"Are these plants real?","Yes of course they fucking are 😂"; Next daypolice called,Went throughthe landlord 'assault' incident in detail, They dismissed all the … Continue reading Some Progress →

I will not rise to it yet still I…

They've gone rogue, out of control, It's now a witch hunt but I'm not a witch, Actually threatening me with eviction and I still don't know what I've done to deserve it; What obstacles are still to come in this story? Tomorrow…I phone Launchpad, and go to the drop-in on Friday, They're the people I … Continue reading I will not rise to it yet still I… →

Perseverance And Ingenuity!

I had planned to write more about this as I have much more to say about it, as well as describe some similar past experiences of watching planetary landings which affected me profoundly, but I've been quite busy lately with a mixture of OCD/anxiety, various tasks around my room, reading and helping out a friend. … Continue reading Perseverance And Ingenuity! →

Kraken

I am the swelling of the oceans on adark andstormy night, I was the molten bedrock before theEarthwas a thing, I was the matter-antimatter asymmetry in thebeginnings of theUniverse, Iam…The Kraken!! Image by Sebastian Ganso from Pixabay 🌪

Open Return

Rumination's creeping back in,—There we go,If I want a metaphor for the bones-in-back-garden story,That's the thing which I have in the closet,In the bulky sports bag stashed under the bed, And I guess the emotions are quite similar—This gnawing feeling,Twang of dread reigning back any positive emotions,Replacing them with guilt and shame; I just have … Continue reading Open Return →

Everlasting/Dogsplosion 🐕

I'll never understand how they can think so little of me,Knee-jerk reaction,Looking down upon me, I'm emotionally abusive,Out with nefarious intentions,But I've checked, checked and triple-checked,And I can confidently say that—No, I am not, I'm a simple person,I live to help people (and make them laugh :P),Nothing makes my life more worthwhile or more fulfilling, … Continue reading Everlasting/Dogsplosion 🐕 →

Rammed Full Of Nows

All there is… is the moment-to-moment now,And what I want to do right now,Based on my past experiences,Inclinations,Ideas and plans, Not—"Oh, but I haven't done it yet,so how could I do it now?", "I haven't done it in some ethereal, indefinable yet strongly gut-level order,It's not all part of some well-planned structure,A global masterplan,With full … Continue reading Rammed Full Of Nows →