Croûton Is Still Cute

I'm making a push to connect with people again, I've been stuck for quite a while. I was very successfully connecting with people in 2019-2020, but 2021-2022 really wore me down. Self-sabotage and anxiety keep getting in the way of attending in-person meet-up groups, but I was overlooking the lower barrier to entry of blogging, … Continue reading Croûton Is Still Cute →

Hamster Enclosure Painting

I've finally finished preparing my hamster enclosure (painting and varnishing it with pet-safe paints). It's really dragged out painfully over many days (12) due to a combination of having to manage OCD alongside— practising ERP to avoid feeding it— and some trial and error and learning about painting wooden furniture. There were also some modifications … Continue reading Hamster Enclosure Painting →

Hamster Preparations

I've made so much progress in sorting through my possessions and either selling them on eBay, giving them away through Freecycle or throwing them away if they weren't useable. All of this clutter has a tangible affect on my thinking, which I've always known but the pull of OCD was stronger. Overcoming OCD to be … Continue reading Hamster Preparations →

Emotional Support Amster

I can't hold back any longer, I'm committed to getting an emotional support hamster! I've been more functional in the last week and finally after 6 months of living here I've been able to start organising and tidying things properly, selling some things I don't need on ebay and throwing away or donating other things. … Continue reading Emotional Support Amster →

Voluntary Medical Procedures

After recently reading a blog post about giving blood, I decided to face my blood-related queasiness and give it a try. "Don't think about it, just do it!"— that was all I needed to hear lol. It's a personal affront to be seen to be 'dithering' or 'faffing'. Usually blood tests make me feel weird … Continue reading Voluntary Medical Procedures →

Whomsoever Whensoever

OCD ritualsWith implied stateAre the worstThat's what's gripped me the last year and a half It stopped being funThere was no relief in writing about anythingBecause the state would remain 'imperfect'Regardless of what I did in-between And now I feel self-conscious againPeople reading what I writeCertain people whom I'd rather they not readAnd I don't … Continue reading Whomsoever Whensoever →

At A Crosswords (Part 1)

I'm at something of a crosswords. I've managed to begin doing cryptic crosswords in the last few months, which is something I was never able to do before even when OCD wasn't affecting me. But during a moment of optimism I decided to start and actually learn how to do them, hoping to have something … Continue reading At A Crosswords (Part 1) →

Fight Response

Whenever the benefits advisor warns me that the Work Capability Assessment process might take ages— e.g. getting the Jobcentre work coach to actually arrange one, then getting a form, then getting an assessment date, then finally getting a decision— I always respond that it's fine with me, and I don't mind, because it's 'extra time'. … Continue reading Fight Response →

Horses For Courses For Farces

Left with time to spare and set out on the scooter— flat tyre. Shit shit shit, back inside, google a taxi company! Messaged the benefits advisor to tell him I was behind on time now, but got there in time anyway. Then he told me that he was very sorry but would have to leave … Continue reading Horses For Courses For Farces →

OCD

It's been a long five days since speaking to that therapist on the phone, because I had the option of having an appointment on Thursday, too. I knew I needed a few more days for my sleep to adjust to make it more practicable. So I chose Tuesday this week for the first one, at … Continue reading OCD →