Environmental Changes

Two stampy housemates down,Including the one from the room aboveβ€”No more creaking floorboards (for now),From the movements of replacement zombie; Replacement zombie??Yes, the zombie housemate about which I'd complained for so long,Who stumbled around full of alcohol, at all times,Barely alive and dropping food and drinks all over the place,They actually moved out around last … Continue reading Environmental Changes

Sounds In The Night

It's alright,It's the middle of the night,I don't need those earphones,I can use the looser ones! It's the middle of the night,And it's oh-so-silent,I don't need much sound insulation,I'll be alriβ€” mmmMWWWEEEHRRRN mmwWWEERRHHHRNRN GRGRHGHHH RHGRR GRGGHH GHHhHhRRRrrhhhhhhh FUCK SHIT BOLLOCKS,β€”Oh,Maybe not, then,Jumped right out of my skin! Good thing was that the other day, on … Continue reading Sounds In The Night

Criminally-Offensive Sounds

Your condition, please? Iβ€” uhh…I've been diagnosed with slocking, Your ticket number is 23671,Please take a hood and noose and join the line on the left,Sir… Okay,Thank you; Hey… uhh,Excuse meβ€”Am I in the correct line? Heya, buddy,Let's see your certificateβ€”I see…Unfortunately, yes,You're in the correct line,β€”Good luck, man! 'Unfortunately'?'Good luck'?What… Bro… TICKET NUMBER 23671,PLEASE … Continue reading Criminally-Offensive Sounds

Misfortunate Misophonia

There's a podcast episode,On my phone,Where the guy being interviewed…Has a major 'slocking' problem, β€”I'm talking about that sound which people make,When they talk whilst chewing chewing gum,Eating a boiled sweet,Or for whatever reason they are over-salivating; Of course, when I first heard that episode,It wasn't long before I pulled the earphones out in rage,And … Continue reading Misfortunate Misophonia

Monsters Out Of Sight

Anxious thoughts,Anxious thoughts,Obsessive irritability andBody tics, Anxious thoughts,Anxious thoughts,Courageously getting out of it;I'll play a computer game,Then I'll go outside,But the relentless floorboard creaking today,Has finally got to me,It's making me jump,I can't tell what's 'real' and not,Because I'm creeping my way around,Black Mesa Research Facility,I actually want to be on high alert,But then the … Continue reading Monsters Out Of Sight

Malignant Midnight Dickheads

Just how much speed,Is too much? I heard that during 'lockdown',Police saw more incidents of speeding,And the highest speeds recorded,Were higher than usual; I completely back up that claim,With the evidence of my ears,For my one-way street abutts a 40mph road,(Also one-way),And three lanes wide; You know what that invites, don't you?Dickheads speeding at horrendous … Continue reading Malignant Midnight Dickheads

Phantom Footsteps

On my heart, Oh, no,Not this!Paranoid delusionments,And hypersensitivity, Ground-in mental associations,Between sound and vibration,Between background thudding and floorboards shaking, Phantom footsteps along the hallway…As I'm typing, the screen subtly shaking,And I listen to music with a strong bass rhythm,I'm starting to feel those footsteps across my heart,Which aren't even there! From hearing and feeling simultaneously,That … Continue reading Phantom Footsteps

Tense And Jump

You can block out the sounds,But you can't block out the earthquakes, You can't unhear the sounds which you can feel in your chest,And you can't unfeel disturbances which shudder through your limbs, Damnit,Even though I tried,And got in a loopβ€” The hardest thing is to stop trying to perfect something,Interrupted by an outside disturbance,Whilst … Continue reading Tense And Jump

A Deathly Rush Of Noise

The death bell has fucking tolled for you,Satan's breath itself rushes down your street, Exploding your bones from the inside out,Your heart is his and your soul is no longer, Ripped out,And torn asunder ha ha! That's the ultimate price you pay, you fucker,For not putting the earplugs in and headphones on earlier. USGS photo … Continue reading A Deathly Rush Of Noise