Life In The Horror Show

And there I satAt my wit's endAfter seven months of struggleAnd inexplicable experiences I logged back onto facebookAs my final actMade it plainJust how little of life I cared; There, I glimpsedAmongst it allAfter everything I had experiencedHaving lived on the edge for so longFacing death so many times, alone The faces of those whom … Continue reading Life In The Horror Show

Personal Thoughts

When I see Putin,Sitting at the extreme end of a long table,And read about his increasing isolationFrom the rest of his people, I can somehow relate to such obsessive tendencies,In a situation with terrible mental health,Where you're totally isolated;Obsessive behaviours get out of control,They're an in-built way of copingWhen there's no way out;It only gets … Continue reading Personal Thoughts

Hell In OCD

I've had a particular OCD compulsion which has been consuming me all year,Taking up several hours or more of each day,It's so incredibly intrusive and pernicious,To do with readiness, not being agitated by a physical discomfort, I repeat the compulsion which solves an imaginary problem, The point is that more than any other compulsion it's … Continue reading Hell In OCD

The Rules Are The Same

The rules are the same,Whether I get up early-morning or late-evening, Every moment is valid,Is a good place to start, The goals are the same,And I don't need to constantly measure myself. Chiefly, my goal right now is practising avoiding dissociation and dissociative habits (body tics, looping thoughts etc),Staying in the moment and aware,Not conscious … Continue reading The Rules Are The Same

In Deep

He has to go deep,Deep,To the centre of the Earth,Where there's a diamond,Of beauty and strength,Apparently. I'm anxiously waiting for the psychiatry company to get back to me, because I asked to make an appointment with their psychologist. I am just going to make an appointment and ask family to pay for the appointments, because … Continue reading In Deep

I Am Superhuman

I've lost a lot,I've really been hit by the lockdown,My growing network of friends and support was based around the charities which were helping me,Two of them had to stop because of the lockdown (and one has fallen out with me over a misunderstanding, which we cannot resolve because of the lockdown itself preventing me … Continue reading I Am Superhuman