Spiders can now meet up to 30 humans indoors,From two different households, And up to seven other spiders,From ten¹ different households,—As long as they are wearing face coverings. New confusing and terrifying government guidance issued,As we enter summer spider season. 🕷🕷🕷🕷👨👩👧👦🕷🕷🕷🕷 Will they listen?No. ¹ I just plucked these numbers out of the air! 🌪
Major Black Swannage
November 2020,A highly-fertile flock of black swans has crash-landed shortly after take-off in Hubei Province, China; Not long afterwards, black swan ducklings begin to hatch,And just as they reach full plumage… New Year leads to increased global travel,As friends and family members reunite to celebrate; Within two weeks,A SARS-like virus which is highly infectious amongst … Continue reading Major Black Swannage
Caution Conspiracy C**ts!/Careful Cutting!
CrackerjackCrackpotClaimsCrapCrew cutsCanCauseCoronavirus! 🌪
Now— could you please try to list,As many people as possible...Whom you've had close contact with,Over the last few days? Well,I usually work from home,You see,So I rarely see anyone,But yesterday—I was in this giant snaking queue for masks,—There were hundreds of people in it...You should've seen it! 🌪