Bricking It

I secretly love it when a big technology company,Accidentally 'bricks' everyone's machines (even when I'm a victim!); The big upgrade, announced with great fanfare,Is unbeknownst (yet) to you,Entirely premature…! 'Making the world a better place',One OS update at a time!We're going up a whole major version number, boys!Who's buying? The very next day…All of that … Continue reading Bricking It

Why Schoolteachers Hate ‘im

"Erm, excuse me Miss?", "Yes, Robin?", "Err you've spelt 'woman' wrongβ€” it should have an 'A' instead of an 'E'", "…no, it looks correct…", "Wait, what? 'women' is the plural spelling of 'woman'", "No, this is the correct spelling for 'woman'", "It's 'one womAn', 'two womEn'!…How do you spell the plural of 'woman'?", "w. o. … Continue reading Why Schoolteachers Hate ‘im

Chatting Shit

I'm surprised that this doesn't exist yet,Could be one for the Dragon's Den,But, Shakespearemint gum,Would be an awesome invention! Rather than freshening your breath,It freshens your vocabulary,So that when you're a little stuck with writing,Or simply tounge-tied, in real life,You pop in a stick of Shakespeare,And, suddenly,You're the world's best speaker/talker/writer/bullshitter! Ok boomer. πŸŒͺ

Misty Priorities πŸ•

Misty order of prioritiesβ€” Cat,Food,Belly scratch,Ball,Sleep; This is testable by e.g. giving Misty a belly scratch,Whilst throwing a ballβ€” she'll ignore the ball,Until you stop giving her belly scratch,And resuming belly scratch causes her to ignore ball again; However…When Misty's seen a cat,Then nothing else can distract her attention!Not even another cat! https://vimeo.com/447716147 πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ πŸŒͺ

Maths Teacher

My maths teacher,(Who for some reason,Hated me πŸ€”),Once tried to make fun of me... Smirking, with ice in her eyes,She saidβ€” "Ye joost yoosed a dubble neg-ah-ive!" 😏, Trying to use logic against me, "I know,β€”I meant to..."; The great irony of it wasβ€”I was not only the best-in-class at maths,(Apart from those doing further … Continue reading Maths Teacher

A Funny Addendum In My Mad Life

With spirit marginally restored,I resumed the hunt for the lost phone, Yet all I could do,Was check the same four places again, Jacketβ€”Nope,Trouser pocketsβ€”Nope,Carβ€”Nope,Bathroomβ€”Nope; Then I thoughtβ€”A torch would be useful,β€”But that was one of the functions,Of the lost phone :(, Then I thoughtβ€”The sensible thing, now,Would be to wait until daylight,But I'm not sensible, … Continue reading A Funny Addendum In My Mad Life

How Easily I Lose Things

I'm endlessly surprised,At my ability to lose something, Within the space of 10 seconds; I'm great at not losing things over time,β€”I'm highly organised,Everything has its place,And it's easy to locate everything; But when things are en-route,Between such places,β€”There's the loophole,They can go missing! I just had my phone,With me in the car,Went to the … Continue reading How Easily I Lose Things