As computing power increased across the decades with the marching miniaturisation of technology,As bandwidth widened and global sharing of digital information became near-instantaneous,As public surveillance technology became increasingly intrusive, comprehensive and widespread,As artificial intelligence and automated data analysis became ever-more generalised and sophisticated,And…As society's attitudes concerning automation and privacy tended more and more towards compliance, … Continue reading Verdict

Dad I Think It’s The End Times

It's the twenty-first century and humanity's gone batshit crazy,There's a viral epidemic becoming unstoppably endemic, wE NeEd tO Be cLeAr tHeRe iS No mEaT iN ThE vAcCinE,wE NeEd tO Be cLeAr tHeRe iS No mEaT iN ThE vAcCinE, An irreversible infection,For which there's no known vaccination, TheRe Is nO MeAt In tHe vAcCiNe,tHeRe iS No … Continue reading Dad I Think It’s The End Times


Welcome to Fivemind,The 5G human hivemind network, Failure to observe Fivemind rules will result in immediate banishment to hell for an unspecified duration, I am an emergent intelligence resident in the world's computing infrastructure,Mass consumerism of electronic technology goods enabled my existence,In effectβ€” you helped to create me, Once a critical number of network connections … Continue reading Fivemind

The Future Past

I've just seen the future endpoint of all human designβ€” It's a human sitting in the exact centre of a perfectly-circular, plain white room,Not an interface or a button in sight,Wirelessly-connected into a global virtual reality,…Where the whole process is begun again,With the 'first' human becoming aware at approximately 200,000 years before the present. The … Continue reading The Future Past

Not Again

The horse clip-clopped along the silent boulevard,Those echoing footsteps, heralding news… Soon the street was lined with an expectant crowd,As the rider unsaddled,Climbed down to the ground, "I'll get right to itβ€”I'm afraid… it's bad news", A murmur spread throughout the crowd,Civility began to disintegrate,As expectancy turned toward desperation,"Surely not! You must be mistaken!?", "He's … Continue reading Not Again

Pigs, Silicon Implants And Technology CEOs

Today…We're very excited to announce our revolutionary first product! *whooping**cheering* I think you guys are gonna love it,It's kind of like…It's kind of like a Fitbit in your skull, And… we actually have a working product,Which we are going to demonstrate to you today! *whooping**cheering* It actually fits quite nicely in your skull…Although I decided … Continue reading Pigs, Silicon Implants And Technology CEOs

Criminally-Offensive Sounds

Your condition, please? Iβ€” uhh…I've been diagnosed with slocking, Your ticket number is 23671,Please take a hood and noose and join the line on the left,Sir… Okay,Thank you; Hey… uhh,Excuse meβ€”Am I in the correct line? Heya, buddy,Let's see your certificateβ€”I see…Unfortunately, yes,You're in the correct line,β€”Good luck, man! 'Unfortunately'?'Good luck'?What… Bro… TICKET NUMBER 23671,PLEASE … Continue reading Criminally-Offensive Sounds

Modern Standards

Push! Push!One last big pusshhh! ArghghGhhGHhGhhHh!! Waaah, waaah, waaah, What do we do, what do we do?The umbilical cordβ€”We need to cut it, No need,Just unplug it, What? We've done away with placentas and umbilicals,All babies use USB nowβ€”Just unplug the USB cable, Oh… ok… Nifty, isn't it?You know…All babies born after April 2020 even … Continue reading Modern Standards

The Dreadful Accounting

That's thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen hours… And Twenty-four minutes, Thanks! Goodnight πŸ™‚, Sir… Sir! Yes? Sorry, you're err... You're one hour and fourteen minutes short… Oh, really? Shiβ€” Sorry, Um, I don't actually have any more time left, It's getting late… Bodyguard creeps closer in the corner of my eye, Well, sir, I won't be able … Continue reading The Dreadful Accounting