A Winged Bat And Hooves For Hands

Yesβ€” missed opportunities,Changed plans,By the time I've snapped out of it, regained my senses,It's too late to do that,But I can do this, Continual adaptation, resurfacing,Reframing,Adjusting to the circumstances I find myself in,On the hoof,Off the bat,Wing and a prayer,The hand that's dealt, Oh, well, that's fine,We are not to blame,It's the OCD/dissociative way πŸ˜πŸ€—. … Continue reading A Winged Bat And Hooves For Hands

The Rules Are The Same

The rules are the same,Whether I get up early-morning or late-evening, Every moment is valid,Is a good place to start, The goals are the same,And I don't need to constantly measure myself. Chiefly, my goal right now is practising avoiding dissociation and dissociative habits (body tics, looping thoughts etc),Staying in the moment and aware,Not conscious … Continue reading The Rules Are The Same

How Do You Sleep At Night? Huh?

How do you sleep at night?Taking so much from me, F***ing OCD,Trauma-coping mechanisms; These past two years,All of those experiencesβ€” Trying to play instruments,Trying to read a book,Meeting up with a friend,The daytime drives, the night drives,Everything which might bring me joy,Triggers in me, instead, anxiety and fear,Retreat into distracting and numbing mental routines,β€”Putting the … Continue reading How Do You Sleep At Night? Huh?

Trying, Trying Not To Dissociate

It's so hard to be absorbed in repetitive OCD body tic obsessions,To this extent,I've been suspending disbelief, living day by day,Hour by hour,Knowing that it's a temporary holding period,Biding my time, playing the survival game,Until I can really start to improve; I started seeing a counsellor last Friday,And I have another appointment today,It's a huge … Continue reading Trying, Trying Not To Dissociate

Addiction And Sunk Cost Fallacy

So much of anxiety and 'paralysis' that I have,Is down to running through these mental thinking constructs, At some point I get 'sick' of it,And snap out of it; It's daily practising this habit, this trick,Which helps me to move forwards; It's easier said than done,And in some moods it can be extremely difficultβ€”Because of … Continue reading Addiction And Sunk Cost Fallacy

Breaking The Vicious Cycle

Vast swathes of anxious time,Before coming back to life,All over again, Get the basics done,Now I can focus,The rest of the day is good,But suddenly it's morning again, Urgghhh,Need to do those basic things all over again,They used to be such a hell because of OCD, anxiety and dissociation,But lately they've been better, But with … Continue reading Breaking The Vicious Cycle