Pillage The Villagers

"What's so funny?" "Oh…I've just read a witness account about how the nation's mentally ill "formed an orderly ten-mile queue through London's streets to see the Queen's coffin lying in state" …as if it were but a physical representation of the state of the NHS waiting list for mental health treatment…a living monument, a window … Continue reading Pillage The Villagers

Radioisotope Queen

"I've been reading these old-time history books about Queen Elizabeth II's reign, they're fascinating. The mass psychosisβ€”" "Oh yeah, which reign?" "…Which reign?" "Yeahβ€” first or second reign?" "I don't think he knows about second reign…" "Well, after five years of King Charles III, everyone just kind of thoughtβ€” can't we have the Queen back? … Continue reading Radioisotope Queen

For. Fuck’s. Sake

I sometimes write creatively perhaps in a way which isn't always immediately obvious, especially when partially-inspired by personal experiences. I enjoy writing in first-person with a subtly-satirical style. Please read tags if unsure! I came out here for some peace and quietWhich was going just fine, untilThat Mr. Musk moved in next door Now even … Continue reading For. Fuck’s. Sake

Five Little Scroungers

Five little scroungers bouncing on the breadlineOne fell off the payroll and developed anxietyWent to the jobcentre and the jobcentre saidFuck off Four little scroungers struggling to get up the stairsOne fell down and became disabledWent to the DWP and the DWP saidFuck off Three little scroungers jumping on a sheet of cardboardOne got evicted … Continue reading Five Little Scroungers

The Influencer’s Prayer

Let us give thanksFor our daily stimulationAnd remember our LordWho suffered judgement, persecution and cancellationSacrificing his eternal privacyFor our everlasting sanctity from boredom In the name of our LordWe like, share and subscribe Like, share and subscribe Entertaining Of The 5,000 His followers answered: "Where could we get enough content to entertain such a crowd?" … Continue reading The Influencer’s Prayer

Licensed To Party

What a fascinating spectacle…How to define in lawA social occasion? Can you defend your gatheringWas it a partyWas it a dinnerWas it a work meetingDid you play Hungry Hippos? When does a meetingBecome a partyAnd when does a partyBecome a meetingTherein lies the built-in, implicit needFor discretion and subjective judgement But that doesn't hold up … Continue reading Licensed To Party

Waste Not Want Not

Conservationists have issued a dire warningAfter latest studies indicate the Great PPE reef has lost up to 10% of biodiversity over the last 5 years; As use of illegal agricultural pestibots increasesSo-called 'bleaching' events have become more and more commonResulting in large swathes of the PPE bed becoming uninhabitable; Pestibotsβ€” the internationally-outlawed nanobotsAre washed into … Continue reading Waste Not Want Not