HS2

I've got a good idea,Let's build a skippy bit of train track,An insignificant scrap,Across little Britain; β€”Is that a good idea?...Is it? I wonder what else...Cost Β£100 billion? πŸ€” International Space Station πŸ›°Entire Apollo Moon program (today's $) πŸš€πŸŒšI'm struggling to find a third construction project... I used to joke,That Edinburgh's tram system,Cost almost one … Continue reading HS2

Takeaway Order

"Your apocalypse will be ready in 20 minutes, sir", "Ok, thank you", ... *Ding dong* "Hello, apocalypse order for Mr. Smith?", "Yes, that's it! Thank you", "It'S heRE!!", "Ok...one SARS, that's yours,An Ebola...β€”""Oh that one's mine!""Military nanobots...I ordered that one, and...", "Oh, we seem to be missing two apocalypti...There should be an extra two Coronaviruses!" … Continue reading Takeaway Order

There’s Something Wrong With My…

β€œ...Mum...?”, β€œYes,What is it darling?”, β€œ...Um...ah...”, β€œCome on, Don**d,Spit it out!I’ve got jobs to do...”, β€œ...Um, there’s something wrong...With my...willy”, β€œOhh,Would you like me to take a look at it?” β€œOk...”, β€œHmmm...,What’s wrong with it...It’s too small?”, β€œWhat!?NO,Of course not,It’s an incredible willy!!”, ... β€œ...Hello,Is that Mrs T?”, β€œYes, speaking...”, β€œHello there,I’m phoning from the … Continue reading There’s Something Wrong With My…

Triple Dare

β€œDo you think,I can kill your soldier,Without even touching it?Close your eyes”, Boom, β€œThat’s not fair!!Muuuuuum!He broke my favourite figure!Tell him off!”, β€œOh,Speak to your Dad about it...”, β€œRight,I let you both live in this house,Peacefully...You, take your toys and go and play somewhere else.”, β€œBut...It took me aaaages,To build that base!There’s sixty pages of … Continue reading Triple Dare