OCD, Uncertainty and Minor Miracles

Since moving into this new, less stressful placeI've been making an extra pushTo fight my worst OCD compulsions Through the haze and confusion and anxietyI have been realising, only in glimpsesMy new situationThe reality of it; Wow it's not easyResisting OCDReaching junctures upon which you could go backwardsOr continue the improvement forwards; Last week,I joined … Continue reading OCD, Uncertainty and Minor Miracles →

Silent Thoughts

I hope that, one dayWe can have a friendship uninterruptedBy impossible circumstancesIt's definitely possible; But until then, there are other prioritiesAnd I'm here for thatWhatever it takes. 🌪

The Hole I Got Into

I just read on an OCD forum—Do something which requires your attention and you'll soon forget about the obsession; The hole I fell into over the last few years was that I can no longer do that; Always exercise was the miracle cure— the endorphins, adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin left my head clear and all … Continue reading The Hole I Got Into →

War Spirit

Interesting that I take strength from war documentaries and dramas,The irrational nonchalance and dark humour in a tough situation,Controlling the urge to complain,Despite the overarching questionable circumstances and incompetence of upper management; Looking for morality in the situation is futile,It is a war,Each day brings many new battles and each battle is different,Fuck-ups and trauma … Continue reading War Spirit →

Proud Of Myself

Warning— this is a lengthy impromptu monologue/summary of my last 2 years! I am sticking to Sundays for the long story posts, but this is a one-off. By all means read selectively or not at all! And thank you greatly for reading. I can't wait to start going through it all with the therapist. It's … Continue reading Proud Of Myself →

Bittersweet Reminders

It's really crazy,How many unmet needs I have right now,There are so many factors,Crushing down my mood, Crushing my mood,And boosting OCD,For it's impossible to put into words,How much it all matters; I feel very keenly,The contribution of daylight,And feel very keenly,The satisfaction from cooking,It's the same with exercising,And daily achievements,Healthy eating,And regular routines; It's … Continue reading Bittersweet Reminders →

Existence

I am pure existence,Merely slogging through an interstitionary phase,Extended and extended, as it's been,Through combinations of circumstances, Antidepressants help to keep me going,Stop me from going crazy,And allow me to do at least some things,Such as this,But it's a surreal time; The dosage will need increasing again,Once this one loses effectiveness,Like a life-jacket with a … Continue reading Existence →

Unparalleled Universes

I've forgotten what it's like,To write about what I want to write about,To let my mind wander,And turn it into stories; But I'm getting hints of the feelings I had,Even if briefly,And I just know it…Will all come flooding back and more; There are whole universes of creation,Bursting at the seams,Untold histories and unseen wonders,Dying … Continue reading Unparalleled Universes →