OCD, Uncertainty and Minor Miracles

Since moving into this new, less stressful placeI've been making an extra pushTo fight my worst OCD compulsions Through the haze and confusion and anxietyI have been realising, only in glimpsesMy new situationThe reality of it; Wow it's not easyResisting OCDReaching junctures upon which you could go backwardsOr continue the improvement forwards; Last week,I joined … Continue reading OCD, Uncertainty and Minor Miracles

We Won Get Over It

Trying to work it outHow, why, whatWhereforeThe fuck have I ended up hereAnd where to go nowWhich way is NorthTrying to work it the fuck out? Laughable; The compass needle is spinningYet the direction is obviousLook to the skyDon't need all those fancy constructed toolsFollow the light; We won,Get over it πŸ˜‚. We weren't even … Continue reading We Won Get Over It

An OCD Cycle

No OCD starting from now…Waitβ€”One last thing Right, no OCD starting from nowWait, no no,No OCD starting from NOW Damnit there was an annoying soundNow I'm itchingNow OCD starting from now… What the fuck? Shut the hell up πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Wait no that phrase reminds me of dismissive people from my past and traumatic memories… Argggh … Continue reading An OCD Cycle

Number 456

Prisoners who complete the game,Will progress to the next round,All others will be eliminated, The prize…eternal fulfilment and completion,No more mind games,All your worries will be soothed; Why so serious?One would think, given the high stakes involved,That I'd volunteered myself for squid games,And that's exactly what I've done, Oh, fuck. Slap me again. πŸŒͺ

OCD, Difficulty And Capabilities

OCD without support is the hardest thing in the world,Not that OCD with support is necessarily easy (I imagine), But OCD without support is like having your legs blown off,And not being given prosthetics or physiotherapy; It's the most difficult thing I've ever experienced,Especially because my current circumstances encourage relapses and loss of hard-won progress. … Continue reading OCD, Difficulty And Capabilities

Just In Case OCD

Hmmm, Just In Case OCD,Seems like it should be a type, Similar to Just Right OCD,But to me it's even more destructive,Because at least Just Right refers to something relatively tangible, in my caseβ€” Symmetry of blinking between left eye and right,Aligning some object perfectly in relation to another,Maintaining my own body's yaw angle with … Continue reading Just In Case OCD

Neighbour From Hell

Like the supermarket trolleys lining the ditches of slip roads into concrete junglesOr Audis and BMWs scattered down mountainsides of the Scottish HighlandsKarma for the presumptuousness of personal satisfactionAnd over-confidence in oneself All roads lead to pain and ruinAnd a flat tyre along the wayEven if you're driving a ten-year-old SkodaLiving a perfect, modest moral … Continue reading Neighbour From Hell