“Buy cheap, buy twice” has always been something I’ve lived by. I’d rather have something suitable and buy it once or not have it at all. So I should be doing the same when it comes to therapy. Whether or not it proves to be feasible, the options should only ever be: the good quality, expensive one; or nothing at all.
Like, sickeningly expensive. Cos a cheap therapist whom right off the bat suggests that I try eating rabbits’ feet (for my arthritis) costs £50 per hour, where an ‘hour’ in therapists’ speak is universally 50 mins. So £1 per minute, which is the cost of go-karting. Go-kart therapy could be temporarily effective, yet pointless if it leaves my knee sore and aggravated.
What I need is more like flying lessons. What would a rich person do in my situation? Demand that. In both cases we’re talking top end of the normal distribution of privilege. That’s the reality…
The demand for emotional intelligence and empathy is so much higher than the supply.
I’m channeling some of the anger of my friend here. Anger at the state of things…the perceived ‘irresponsibility’ of some supposedly professional therapists, considering what they charge. I didn’t think to consider it that way; what I was feeling was more frustration at this disability that humans in general seem to have, when it comes to understanding others. Since me and my friend are both apparently highly sensitive and empathetic people, it can feel this way. Finding an equal therapist is hard. A therapist who won’t shock us with clumsy, insensitive statements 😆. This may look like high standards and expectations, and that’s a valid point of view (even though it’s not a conscious choice). Of course we won’t accept somebody suggesting that the sky is red, even if many others might not see it and just accept that. Or see it, but not challenge it. Life like this is difficult, debilitating. Yet comforting others comes so naturally to us. We don’t see what is so hard about it, because it’s intuitive. Intuitive talents are rare. I will never understand those people who play chess intuitively, it’s like magic.
I value my friend’s anger about this though. That’s a fellow campaigner type personality :D. Empathetic but not passive. Perhaps I should be asking therapists for their personality type.