OCD, Uncertainty and Minor Miracles

Since moving into this new, less stressful place
I’ve been making an extra push
To fight my worst OCD compulsions

Through the haze and confusion and anxiety
I have been realising, only in glimpses
My new situation
The reality of it;

Wow it’s not easy
Resisting OCD
Reaching junctures upon which you could go backwards
Or continue the improvement forwards;

Last week,
I joined the OCD online support group again
With OCD Action (THE UK’S LARGEST OCD CHARITY);

I first joined it from my car, in 2019
In a swimming pool car park up in Edinburgh
Whilst I was living in my car;
At the time, it was simply a marvel that it was possible to do so
Thanks to the technology I had available;

I’d managed a couple of sessions
Then a couple more whilst living with my aunt in Reading;
After that it was just too stressful to do so with my level of OCD compulsions;
Difficult to sit through a two-hour session, mostly listening;

It was also too difficult to continue the physical meet-ups with other groups here
I’d had to stop doing a lot of things due to the stress and effort of living in my situation;

But now It’s an opportunity for a fresh start
And I’m really glad I managed to attend it last week;

When I went to the jobcentre last week
She was amazed at how much had changed in two weeks—
Indeed I received the keys for the new place and the WCA form, both on my birthday;
Funny how things work out;
Two things which had been in motion for a year concluding upon the same day;

Here’s another minor miracle, and absurdity—
I finally discovered that second copy of the How To Rent Guide with accompanying letter
In a random box, whilst organising my stuff in the new place
A single oversight (which was nevertheless fully understandable given what was going on at the time I’d received it);
I didn’t even have my documents files at that point;

It turns out that the updated version of that guide was still the wrong one
(Indeed it was the same one lol)
And brandishing this in court would’ve won me the eviction case;
However,
Winning the case back in November would’ve got me evicted sooner
(Since a new eviction proceeding would’ve concluded before June);
It was only the repeated adjournments which bought me the necessary extra time;

This was the only possible way it could’ve worked out since receiving the eviction notice.

🌪