Five Little Scroungers

Five little scroungers bouncing on the breadline
One fell off the payroll and developed anxiety
Went to the jobcentre and the jobcentre said
Fuck off

Four little scroungers struggling to get up the stairs
One fell down and became disabled
Went to the DWP and the DWP said
Fuck off

Three little scroungers jumping on a sheet of cardboard
One got evicted and became homeless
Went to the council and the council said
Fuck off

Two little scroungers developing suicidal thoughts
One attempted it and was rushed into hospital
Went to the doctor and the doctor said
Fuck off

One little scrounger dreading his gas bill
He couldn’t afford heating and froze to death.


9 thoughts on “Five Little Scroungers

  1. I can imagine a movie after your poem and it’s not the first one. I love this about the way you tell stories.
    Btw, I’ve never heard of a word scrounger before. Thanks for adding a new word to my personal dictionary. πŸ”₯


    1. Oh wow, thanks for that encouraging comment! I do like to tell some coherent story/message. I don’t like to leave things to interpretation anyway :).

      Hahaha! That’s a hilarious comment on the ‘scrounger’ word πŸ˜‚. Yep it’s quite a UK-specific casual slang word here. You should definitely use it.


  2. Five Little Scroungers lording it up in Westminster during a pandemic.
    One held multiple parties whilst the public they were supposed to serve were dying in droves.
    Went to the public and the public said
    Fuck off



    1. Hahaha! Love the reply. Unfortunately five scroungers is a bit of an underestimate πŸ˜’.

      Yes indeed there are really no words to describe what’s currently happening (and what went on). It’s many things simultaneously, one of them being that it’s our Trump moment, and the only thing making it a bit less scary is lack of a 50% extremist following prepared to do anything. At least it’s quite clear they will be absolutely destroyed by the next election for some time to come. And thank fuck for that. Hopefully it’s sooner than 2024 because you worry what scheme he will figure out in the meantime time to subvert democracy for good.

      It’s so depressing and embarrassing. But 75% of the public aren’t having any of it. I just started doing yougov polls for money and the questions and results lately are fascinating. Here’s to the Sue Gray report being released on the stroke of midnight before yet another parliament recess. It’s fucking disgusting all around.


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