The Influencer’s Prayer

Let us give thanks
For our daily stimulation
And remember our Lord
Who suffered judgement, persecution and cancellation
Sacrificing his eternal privacy
For our everlasting sanctity from boredom

In the name of our Lord
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Entertaining Of The 5,000

His followers answered:

“Where could we get enough content to entertain such a crowd?”

“How many youtube videos do you have?” Jesus asked.

“Seven,” they replied, “and a few small gifs.”

Jesus told the crowd to sit down on the ground. Then he took the seven youtube videos and the gifs, and when he had given thanks, he cut them into clips and jpegs and showed them to the followers, and they in turn to the people. They all consumed content and were satisfied.

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7 thoughts on “The Influencer’s Prayer

    1. Only explanation I could think of for such unified behaviour :), and for the willingness of followers to hold the sluice pipe directly to their mouths.


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