Reductio Ad Absurdum

There weren't any parties
I didn't attend any parties
It was a work meeting
I was only there for twenty minutes
I was boosting team morale
I only had one drink
Nobody told me I was drunk 
It wasn't a birthday party
That's not music
I've never had a birthday
Nobody told me it was my birthday
That's not me
That's not my hand
I've never been upstairs
That's a parallel reality
Everything that could possibly
happen has happened
and is yet to happen
That can't have been me
I was in a quantum state
I was in both locations
I was in neither location
until observed
That doesn't count as a
quantum measurement
You can't prove that I exist
You don't exist
Time is an illusion
Reality isn't real
I don't think


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