I’m alone in the house,
Afraid to leave my room,
This house is the least secure place in existence,
I’ve got things to do, though,
So I’m going to have to try it,
If I you don’t hear from me again, you know why 😏.
Also call Forensic Files and make sure I’m an episode, please. Purposefully obfuscate the investigation if you have to as it’s likely to be an unsophisticated open-and-shut case. But I figure if anyone’s going to murder me for revenge, now’s the ideal opportunity.