Captain Smith, it’s been two weeks since your incredible…unbelievable rescue from the Pacific Ocean,
How are you holding up!?
It’s been a crazy two weeks that’s for sure. Considering everything, I’m doing very well, thank you! It’s amazing how the body recovers when it has what it needs.
Is it true that you wrestled a shark!?
Haha! 100%. It’s a cliché but it was literally bite the eyes out of a shark or be killed. I didn’t make shark fin soup, though. I’d never stoop that far. I have morals. Did I mention that?
There’s been talk of knighthood, because of the sheer inspirational power of your story. How does Captain Sir Robin Smith sound?
Well I think it sounds rather good! But to be honest, all I did was sit in an inflatable boat for five years. And got a book out of it. And awesome hair.
How would you respond to suggestions that you purposefully put yourself into such a precarious position, in order to create an epic tale of survival for social media clout?
And finally, Captain Robin:
What would you say to those air traffic controllers now?
Hows about that runway then, bitches? 😎
Where’s my hot fucking meal!?
I didn’t sit on my arse in the cold for five years to be served with this shite!!