Stay Of Execution

Anger, Poem 2 Minutes

I was looking forward to having a relatively good weekend,
I was on the up again for a few days,
But the person from Salvation Army’s been phoning spontaneously again,
Rather than the pre-arranged calls I originally requested;

And they asked me for the thousandth timeโ€”
When is it you’re 35 again?
Because that’s the milestone that makes me deserving of having my own place in the council’s eyes;

I’ve been asked this question for 2 years,
And it’s just as far off as it was when I was 32;
I can’t describe the feeling of despair and helplessness to be asked that question;

It’s ok for them when they are busy with work, and social lives,
But a year or a month are a very different proposition when you’re living minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour,
Dealing with the stresses around you,
Just trying to accomplish daily tasks but having so many greater goals;

The moment they asked that questionโ€”
I felt it rising within my whole body wanting to burst out,
Rising panic and frustration and anger and just annoyance at the tone of voice that made it sound like they were asking about the weather,
And the irrelevance of the question because I need the solution now and even then it’s irrelevant because I’m waiting on Launchpad to house me anyway;

How many times does a single person need to ask you the same question,
Let alone the many multiple people who’ve asked the same questions multiple times each;

Anyway, I hung up the phone before I screamed down hell,
Then phoned Launchpad and asked them if they had any estimate of the timeframe,
They said they have their weekly meeting on Monday to decide move-ins and they’d update me after that;

Wasn’t what I asked really, but whatever;

I emailed Salvation Army and explained why I hung up,
I haven’t read the response yet in fear of further irritation;
I can see that it begins with understanding but I know how people love their shit-sandwiches ๐Ÿ˜‚;
It’ll end with a caveat, I almost guarantee it;

Anyway,
Whole thing threw weekend into turmoil because at least in the absence of a response from the court the weekend is a period of respite,
A guaranteed stay of execution;

Even my stay of execution feels ruined,
I should’ve demanded phone calls remain pre-arranged because I was already caught up in depression and OCD at the time;

So yeah, those are all my thoughts released into the wild,
The boundary fence has been reinforced to keep the wild ones out :).

And keep the Misties in ๐Ÿ•โ€๐Ÿฆบ๐Ÿ•โ€๐Ÿฆบโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ•โ€๐Ÿฆบ๐Ÿ•โ€๐Ÿฆบ.

๐ŸŒช

Published by ๐‘น๐’๐‘ฉ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต ๐Ÿช

I write poems which are mental health-themed, creative or humourous :). Within mental health I write a lot about: ADHD, OCD, anxiety, autism, emotional traumaโ€” usually with an optimistic slant. My goals for my blog are to give myself a therapeutic, creative outlet whilst also being able to connect with and relate to other people.

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18 thoughts on “Stay Of Execution”

      2. Yeah they are both charities, but I think the Salvation Army person I’ve been dealing with is employed by them as she’s working Tuesday to Saturday. And then Launchpad is quite a serious charity with lots of funding and is definitely mostly employed staff.

        Nope it’s just the person I got with Salvation Army. She was recently off and the person who replaced her for a few weeks was way better. She’s just a bit scatter-brained, other odd behaviours too like replying to one message and ignoring another. Nothing really seems to sink in. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ. It’s like you’re starting from scratch each week.

        It’s difficult when you’re relying on a person for support (and on paper you have it) but the person is not actually competent enough to help you. It’s how I got into the whole housing emergency (council people being so on/off too). It’s scary.

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      6. I hired a solicitor to sell my parents’ house, they arranged the wrong fucking completion date! The sale completed 2 days before the removal co moved me out! Buy yeah, I know what you mean.

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