I’m Now A Fat Bast

The last few years have taken their toll. (Plus the knee injuries, of course).

And I looked in the mirror,
And saw that I was a fat bast;
So I stopped looking in the mirror ๐Ÿ˜‚.

Robin 15:8

Seriously, though. The only times I see my reflection now are in the microwave door or in accidental-camera-selfie-mode. Life’s a lot more relaxing like that!

The selfie camera is perhaps the cruellest of humanity’s inventions. Yet, strangely, seemingly one of the most popular. Why expose yourself to harsh reality when you can simply imagine whatever you want? ๐Ÿ˜œ.


21 thoughts on “I’m Now A Fat Bast

  1. The worst thing with the selfie camera is when you forgot you last used your phone in selfie mode and you go to use the camera and are randomly surprised to see your own face making its surprised expression because of that momentary delay ๐Ÿ˜ซ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Surprised expression would be an improvement! It’s more likeโ€ฆlooking upwards from beneath multiply-layered chin and saggy cheeks at completely vacant zombie face with eyebags big enough to hold a week’s laundry. Every single imperfection plus more in sharp relief. Unflattering isn’t the word. It can trigger insta-life-crisis. It’s traumatising! Even moreso if you have a beard that keeps getting overgrown and out of control. Manโ€ฆI look homeless every time. Ok that’s too many words on this ๐Ÿ˜†, but yeah I completely get you!

      Liked by 1 person

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