A Frustrating Week

Difficult week,
Obsessed with end-of-the-world scenarios,

Don’t get me wrong,
I’ve always been interested in those,

But after collecting together all supporting letters in support of me having my own place,
Ticking off all the items on the checklist the council person gave to me,

I heard…nothing,
Until the person from the Salvation Army who liaises with both,
Said to meβ€”

“So-and-so from the council was asking about your PIP application,
And how that’s going”,
Two weeks in a row,
And by the second time my suspicion grew…

I sent a direct emailβ€”
“Were my letters enough, to get the exemption?” (to the requirement to have PIP or be 35),

You’ll need PIP to get the exemption,
Which therefore isn’t an exemption that’s just meeting the rules,
Which further annoyed me;

Considering I have ‘no chance whatsoever’ of getting PIP…
I was devastated, as much by the lack of communication as anything else,
Considering the implications of that decision either way;
I told them it made me feel sick;

I had to shut everything down, haven’t checked emails in a week,
I barely did anything for several days except write those few stories;

Today I lost a nice afternoon after hearing a knock on the door,
And fearing the letting agent and landlord again,
Barricaded it;

Trying to reset myself,
After correctly destroying all expectations;

It’s funny because I’m the most optimistic person that a few people have met,
Yet, if I tell the Salvation Army person that I’ll just expect nothing from now on,
They think that’s me being pessimistic!

I can be both a cynic and optimistic.


19 thoughts on “A Frustrating Week

      1. No! As an empath and optimist I know very well what you’re talking about and I resisted the temptation to say something a bit too sharp about those who put a nice label on us to simplify their brain processes πŸ˜‰
        I’m fine, thanks, the break from the blog is useful; I’ll tell you that I don’t watch penalties anymore: I’m enchanted by athletics, it’s the first time we win in the men’s 100 metres and in the men’s 4×100! 😍 πŸ€ΈπŸ»β™€οΈ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh! Yes, I totally agree about labels :). I hated ending it with using labels. I had those 2 in my mind from reading another person’s post the day before. And, well, it IS comforting when other people announce they have those traits, but yeah, it sucks that that’s the case.

        Oh! Wow you won the 100m sprint? That’s pretty surprising yeah. Thankfully Usain Bolt’s retired now lol.

        I didn’t watch any of it (it’s behind paywalls these days πŸ˜›), but can you explain to me why Great Britain does so well in the olympics? Lol. Not complaining but it’s a bit odd being next to those superpowers πŸ˜„.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, I was really very quick 😝

        I have a theory about your medal stand. Whoever has hosted the Olympics in the last 20 years has invested so much to make a good impression by having the Olympics at home. That investment has a major return in the years that follow. The federations get more money as a result of the medals they win. It becomes a club viCiIt doesn’t apply to us winning medals versus the federations, which are places where people are sorted out according to criteria far removed from sport…. […] πŸ˜•

        Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)


      4. Actually yeah you’re right, comparing UK and Italy, Italy was getting better results than UK until the Beijing olympics (before we hosted it), and we knew we were hosting it from 2004 so the funding/motivational aspects would’ve already been there. I had a false impression of the UK having a long-term good legacy in it, haha.

        I didn’t realise you were using a translator (or sometimes?) for your comments! I am so used to people being fluent in English I hadn’t considered that it wasn’t natural for you. This explained to me the brief style of your replies, and use of emojis. I had thought you were just being mysterious πŸ˜‚.

        P.S. I had it in my mind to reply to this comment for all this time πŸ˜†, and a few others from other people. I kept running out of time in the day to catch up because of the OCD etc.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yes, translator with double check to correct syntax πŸ˜€
        When I’m short on procedure, as you well understand, I use the fastest communications😊
        For me it’s not a problem, it’s a nice surprise to come back to old comments, it’s a sign that the discourse hasn’t waned and that you care to reply πŸ™‚ πŸ˜„

        Liked by 1 person

  1. It’s a terrible feeling / reality to trying to walk through a tall solid brick wall (the government agent/entity). It would certainly make me bleed out and lose all hope. I am so sorry to read about this Robin. My sincerely hope is that when you are feeling hopeless, this community will step in and ignite the hope for you.
    Yes, you are one of the most optimistic friends/persons I have ever known.

    Liked by 4 people

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