Oh my GAD,
I’m suffering from generalised anxiety,
I’m scared of demands,
Don’t worry, Robin,
It’s always worse than you’re imagining.
Noβ BETTER than you’re imagining,
LESS bad than you’re imagining.
π
Remember to seize the moment, lighten it up!
Oh, yeah,
βTry the juggling balls!
Trying to add any kind of structure into my day, especially making plans to create something, always cripples me with anxiety and obsessive behaviours at the moment. Any hint of a demand placed on myselfβ even from myselfβ triggers this backwards slide. Especially when it’s something that I would otherwise take great satisfaction in doing. It’s really obtuse.
It’s slow progress trying to reach this point of understanding with my therapist, because the context of all the traumas leading up to my current situation is so important. These behaviours evolved and worsened through trauma after trauma.
I started a podcast the other day and I don’t want it to become a ‘graveyard’ podcast like so many others out there. It won’t become one because I’m starting it based on solid intentions. Yet precisely because I don’t want that to happen, and that it needn’t happen, that creates a demand on myself that I can’t deal with at the moment. Yet not having goals isn’t an option for me either. I’m stuck in this middle-ground of constant agitation π€¦ββοΈ. It’s the same with my blog or writing poemsβ the minute I plan to create anything specific, my days goes downhill. It’s all just spontaneous writings.
I guess, I just need to rememberβ it doesn’t matter how much time passes in-between episodesβ because I know that it’s not going to become a ‘graveyard’ podcast (that’s just a term I use in my head!). It may take weeks or months for that to become evident to everyone else, but it doesn’t matter. I always do things that I say I’m going to. π
Talking of the podcastβ I haven’t mentioned it to many people yet, because I wanted to wait until it was a consistent endeavour/hobby. Say, 10 episodes or something.
πͺ
π»πππππ
π πΆπ πͺππππ πͺ 
I’d definitely give your podcast a listen! Always on the lookout for a new one πππ€
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Thanks! Oh cool :). Me too actually, haha. I’m waiting until I’ve created another episode before sharing it anymore though, otherwise it’s a dead podcast.
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Well, always happy to lend a listening ear whenever you’re ready ππ€
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Ready! π
https://unheardmindpodcast.podbean.com
It’s available in all mainstream podcast places π. Except spotify.
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I had a listen! Great work Robin! π
I love the wee bitesize chunks – almost like opening a window into deeper thoughts…
You must keep it up.
It’s clear you have a voice that needs to be heard my friend ππ€
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Thank you, Charmer! That’s really gratifying.
Yes, I thought I’d start small, I imagine they’ll get longer over time :D. Or be a mixture of long and short.
I certainly will keep it up! Thank you! π
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You’re welcome π
I look forward to more ππ€
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I would like to listen to your podcast. Your thinking is very original and you don’t mind speaking your truth as you feel and understand it. A very refreshing take on the chaos we all face.
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Hi, thanks a lot! And thanks for bringing me back to this post, was useful to read again :).
Unfortunately this post was too prophetic, I haven’t made a podcast episode since last December, but the final nail was actually environmental disturbance in the place I’m living in, it became untenable. Here I am almost a year later in the same place :), though there’s less disturbance now. I’m being moved on to another place at the end of this month. I’m waiting until I feel secure again with my accommodation, whilst continuing to battle to get the accommodation that I need. It’s a shame that I can’t keep the podcast up because it was therapeutic, but I’ll be returning to it at the right time!
The podcast is called Unheard Mind Podcast.
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