Dayum, Dayum, Dayum

Dayum,
I lost so much, didn’t I?
Relative to the start of the year,

With all of the stresses of the housing environment,
No control over being able to do the daily tasks I needed to,
Losing my ability to write how I wanted to,
Losing my ability to want to write or to daydream,
—All of this I was fully conscious of, of course,
But no wonder I developed so many tics, again,
—Trauma tics;

My environment has been on the up for the past few months,
As I’ve been problem-solving, one by one,
How to do everything within my room,

And having done all of that,
I’d started to suffer from malnutrition,
Because my first-draft cooking solution of baked potatoes and crackers with rotating fillings,
Nuts and raisins and a few other things,
Started to wear thin, and I stopped enjoying eating;

I am familiar with malnutrition, after last year,
Somehow living for seven months with only the jetboil stove!
Wow, ok,
I must be made of steel or something 😅,
Fucking fair-play,
But I now have a slow-cooker to go with the microwave,
And there’s beef stew on the burner;

So, I believe,
That everything is solved satisfactorily,
And I am able to remember how much writing was giving me—
The joy of the challenge in seeking to improve,
Of discovery through trial and error,
In pushing myself to try new things,
And incredible satisfaction through dreaming and creating;

Dayum,
I lost a lot,
But I’m optimistic now about getting it back.

Are you comparing yourself to Nelson Mandela!?

No, I’m comparing Nelson Mandela to me! 😛

🌪