Take Them As They Are

What is this feeling,
That is pulling me back?
When experiencing a frame of mind,
That I haven’t for some time;

Suddenly I found myself able to read easily,
But why? What for?
Did all those struggles not count?

It can be difficult to let the old habits and anxieties go,
When I’m feeling so unheard,
When it’s just me and my own internal world,

I’d love to get it all off my chest,
To a therapist, a person in the know,
I’d love to go through everything,
It’s been such a long ordeal;

But, it’s OK Robin,
You can take those small wins,
There’s no need to compare,
It is OK, to just take them as they are.

OCD is a malicious beast, it can rob you of so much. And to experience some kind of normality, relaxation again, brings with it instant guilt, confusion, grief. Especially when there’s no one to help me digest it all. When it’s all essentially an internal problem. I have the urge to try to make sense of it, of the change, to remember how it felt before just so I can check that there really is a difference and to honour my struggles. But with that kind of brain clarity when anxiety isn’t sabotaging me and stopping me from doing things, it’s another chance to practise being in the now and taking things as they are, improvements and all.

πŸŒͺ


10 thoughts on “Take Them As They Are

    1. Thanks Cassa :). This kind of struggle, the reading OCD, is such an intimate and personal struggle, and defies almost any kind of logic. No amount of positive thinking can help it, if anything make it worse.

      Those kinds of thoughts do generally help me with motivation and to keep going, helping with the depression side of things. But the reading OCDβ€” only me understands that struggle and how much it’s cost and traumatised me. So it’s hard to let it go without first having it understood by someone else. But anyways, writing this has helped because I know that other people with OCD will at some point find it helpful :).

      Thank you for your positivity! πŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I commented on the feeling I had when reading this piece of writing. It felt that you maximise what you had and made the most of it. There was a fighting spirit and a positive attitude throughout.

        Reading your posts again brought me a heartfelt smile Robin! 😊

        Liked by 2 people

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