Predictable

Fiction, Poem 1 Minute

Dad pulls up in the drive in his Nissan Qashqai…

Dad!
What are you doing?
The car is full of toilet paper!
Why?? The wave has passedβ€”

Fool me once,
Shame on you,
Fool me twice,
…Well, I may as well bend over and lube up!

Dad!! Fuck’s sake!
What the hell!?

Kids, I’m not being caught out again;
When the next pandemic happensβ€”
We.
Are going.
To be…
Kings!!

…next pandemic happens after a novel rotavirus emerges with main symptoms of diarrhoea and vomiting…

Kids…
I’m afraid we’re going to have to sell the house,

…

No one’s buying toilet paper and all of our money has gone into buying marked-up cough syrup and face masks through eBay…

πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

πŸŒͺ

Published by 𝑹𝒐𝑩𝑰𝑡 πŸͺ

I write poems which are mental health-themed, creative or humourous :). Within mental health I write a lot about: ADHD, OCD, anxiety, autism, emotional traumaβ€” usually with an optimistic slant. My goals for my blog are to give myself a therapeutic, creative outlet whilst also being able to connect with and relate to other people.

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15 thoughts on “Predictable”

  3. A super-mutant E. coli strain would truly bring the world to a standstill. There would be no need to mandate quarantine because people would be too busy competing for the toilet to even consider leaving home. At least a run on toilet paper would make sense in that situation!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      2. Boris Johnson almost shits himself to death. As per usual, just more explosively!

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