Dad pulls up in the drive in his Nissan Qashqai…
What are you doing?
The car is full of toilet paper!
Why?? The wave has passed—
Fool me once,
Shame on you,
Fool me twice,
…Well, I may as well bend over and lube up!
Dad!! Fuck’s sake!
What the hell!?
Kids, I’m not being caught out again;
When the next pandemic happens—
…next pandemic happens after a novel rotavirus emerges with main symptoms of diarrhoea and vomiting…
I’m afraid we’re going to have to sell the house,
No one’s buying toilet paper and all of our money has gone into buying marked-up cough syrup and face masks through eBay…