In Deep

He has to go deep,
Deep,
To the centre of the Earth,
Where there’s a diamond,
Of beauty and strength,
Apparently.

I’m anxiously waiting for the psychiatry company to get back to me, because I asked to make an appointment with their psychologist. I am just going to make an appointment and ask family to pay for the appointments, because I can’t wait longer.

OCD is taking up more than half of my day again and taking all of my energy, and it’s a very very very lonely place, not being able to explain it all to somebody who can understand it properly, and help you. Even the fact that for me, OCD is triggered by feelings of pleasure, as well as discomfort, seems unique. Therefore the medication alone doesn’t help me. And of course it’s cancelled out by the environmental stresses. What a complex situation, I really need to be heard, and everything else depends on it. I can’t even wash without getting really stressed and exhausted 🤦‍♂️.

For some reason, they are taking ages to get back to me, which shouldn’t happen (and doesn’t usually happen) as it’s a private service which I’m trying to pay for. I’m trying to get an idea of when they will get back to me. It’s just impossible to visualise ever getting the opportunity at this point.

🌪