Shifting Torments

It has a big effect,
Missing taking the Sertraline medication,
By even a few hours;

It needs to be taken every 24 hours,
Or the effects are felt very quickly;

I struggle to take it consistently,
—This is another side-effect of the hoops I have to jump through,
To avoid the stressful housemates,
And of my erratic sleeping pattern,
And ever-shifting circadian rhythm;

Having to keep the curtains closed,
Is an effective way to keep the rhythm flexible,
As are stress and anxiety,
(Also increased by lack of sunlight);

Even when I cut short my sleep to get back on track,
It’s never worth it as I suffer greatly from that,
My mood drops and anxiety increases,
Then I lack the energy to do exercise,
Sleep is everything;

When I miss the medication by a few hours,
Rage surges easily,
Undissipated energy is bursting from the seams,
And the pleasure and relief felt in screaming my lungs out,
Explain such reactions;

But don’t be fooled,
The medication helps me greatly,
When I can take it properly;

Of course,
Medication will never overcome environmental problems,
And is effectively cancelled out by such;
It’s able to help me because I’m going to great lengths to make the environment my own—
I now have a fridge and microwave in my room,
And I’m going to get a small table,
These things are helping me hugely;

I’ve just had a video call with a friend,
Forgetting to take Sertraline first,
Because OCD had put me in a rush 🤦‍♂️,

But anyways, I’ve taken it now,
I’ll feel ok again soon!

🌪