Phantom Footsteps

On my heart,

Oh, no,
Not this!
Paranoid delusionments,
And hypersensitivity,

Ground-in mental associations,
Between sound and vibration,
Between background thudding and floorboards shaking,

Phantom footsteps along the hallway…
As I’m typing, the screen subtly shaking,
And I listen to music with a strong bass rhythm,
I’m starting to feel those footsteps across my heart,
Which aren’t even there!

From hearing and feeling simultaneously,
That housemate screaming down the hallway,
Repeatedly,
Boom boom boom,
With my heart thudding and everything shaking,
I’ve created an association and a hypersensitivity to vibration πŸ˜†;

Which leads down the untenable path of numbing and dissociation,
OCD rituals of checking in the hallway…
Better nip that in the bud, buddy!

πŸŒͺ

10 thoughts on “Phantom Footsteps

    1. Thanks Natalie! I didn’t think this one would be that relatable. It’s always the ones that make me feel the weirdest that have some comment that gives me that sort of feeling of relief :).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ohhh, yeah I see! Well this was more of a thing which crept up gradually, until it got to the point where I couldn’t concentrate and enjoy things, rather than a specific event (since nothing external actually happened in these ‘phantom’ cases, xD).

        To be clear, though, when the event actually happened, it was unmistakeable >_<.

        Like

    1. No but you are totally right, actually, yes, in general with OCD things, I’m noticing them earlier more and more. But outside stresses really affect that progress, so it’s hard to tell if I’m actually making progress or not, as I go forwards and backwards a lot.

      Like

      1. I mean there’s some crossover between hyper-alertness due to stress and OCD, a blurry line. And of course OCD is made worse by stress

        Like

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