Fighting For My Mobility

Free!
It feels like I’ve finished my homework,
And I’m nothing if not persistent;

These last 10 days,
I finally freed myself from the guilt,
Indecision and lack of momentum,
Towards things like cleaning my car or fixing my scooter,

The job had become intimidating,
Besides the anxiety factors,
But what really freed me up,
Was taking pleasure in taking a bite out of the task each day,
β€”It didn’t matter how big,
Just that I had done one more thing towards fixing the scooter,
And regaining physical mobility!

After spending the afternoon on my car,
Tonight I came within sight of my goal,
So I pushed to see how far I could get with one more evening…

But the 6 months for which my scooter had sat unused,
Really finished off the battery,
And, to be honest,
I was living in the car when I first got the scooter,
And limited in my capacity for proper maintenance;

So a fresh start with a fresh battery,
And after some more fiddling with that dodgy disk brake,
I realised that would need replacing (upgrading) too;

One last push,
One last expenditure of money into this project,
The bank is empty,
But this is what it means to me,

This is what it means to me to regain my mobility,
To be able to take trips down by the river again,
I can’t even begin to explain how important it was,
Regaining my mobility for those 5 months after so many years of feeling so useless,

I simply will take ‘no’ for an answer no longer!

The day in May 2019 when I first got the scooter, bought by a friend and my younger brother whilst I was living in my car up in Scotland. This was very close to where I slept in my car at night, and was a place that I’d discovered years before, now free to return to and explore it. The scooter gave me the physical freedom to be able to consider making use of mental health and crisis charities around Edinburgh which I desperately needed. It was only gaining this scooter and my physical freedom which allowed me to survive living in the car for 7 months. It was a much-needed light!

πŸŒͺ

15 thoughts on “Fighting For My Mobility

    1. Thanks! It was really nice πŸ™‚ and always empty of people. Plus insanely fun to cheekily go fast around on the scooter…lol, a perfect racetrack!

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    1. Margie it’s amazing how nice it is when you really clean stuff in your car! I actually just cleaned my windscreen for the first time in 4 years πŸ˜†. And just the dashboard looks so much different. Just looks so brand new!

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    1. Hahaha, exactly! This was exactly what I was thinking of. Our headteacher said it once in an assemblyβ€” “How do you eat an elephant? One teaspoon at a time”. Not sure why you’d use a teaspoon to eat an elephant. But anyway it stuck in my head, especially for the absurd phrasing of it lol.

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  1. I didn’t know you were disabled Robin. I know what it is like not to be able to walk, or even see. I really do understand how great it mudt be for you now, with your scooter.

    This has found me on a very sad day. I wish I could come out with you on that scooter. Have a GREAT time now. Xx

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    1. Hi, well, I have severe arthritis in one knee and quite bad in the other, so I’m very limited with walking distances. I still at times appear very agile over short distances, though, as I’m scrupulous about not pushing my knees too far and I’m otherwise healthy and strong.

      Walking round the supermarket is the limit for one go, getting about 5-10 things at a time. I’ve always been very athletic so that helps with stability and not limping. All of that disguises the severity of the problem which you can only really get an idea of by reading my medical reports.

      I’ve had 5 surgeries on one knee and 1 on the other. The scooter opened up so many possibilitiesβ€” such as not worrying about how far I have to park from things! Massive stress-relief!! Riding the scooter was also very good for strengthening my legs, because you have to balance over bumps so it’s very good for improving fast-twitch muscles which are crucial for balance and support of the knee.

      It’s one thing to understand those complexities myself, but to communicate those to people is a nightmare!! πŸ˜†πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ.

      So, nobody would label me as disabled but I’ve definitely been very disabled with certain things (walking more than 1-200 metres at a time or walking quickly). Combined with age and my youthful appearance I’ve felt the stigma…

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      1. Also stairs are impossible except occasionally in an emergency. So I have crutches for whenever there’s no lift in a public place.

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      2. In the worst case I’ve had people vehemently tell me that I’m using it as an excuse for not exercising…despite being an extremely active person by nature πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ.

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    1. It really does! Thank you so much!! πŸ˜„. It’s definite improvement πŸ™‚

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