Mental Rubik’s Cube

When I think of the anxiety,
Which has begun many days,
The numerous structure-related worriesβ€”

“Damn, I didn’t get to sleep early enough because of…”,
“I didn’t hear my alarm because of wearing the ear plugs”,
“I’ve already woken up too late now”,
“I’m already demotivated”,
“Now I’ve already laid in bed for too long, and I’ll never get that time back”,
“This is way later than I wanted to begin the day”,
“I can’t truly relax or focus now because of all of that”,

Which have accompanied me for many years,
It’s really quite absurd!
(I can sometimes appreciate this fact emotionally,
In a rare moment of clarity);

It’s like trying to do a mental Rubik’s Cube,
Basically :\.

It has to be said, though,
That a lot of this anxiety has been reinforced by society and expectations of people around me,
Especially during this turbulent period,
Of being judged and analysed by family whom I depended on,
And that, since I’ve been able to live again more independently through living here,
I feel much more free to try to abandon those anxious mental habits.

Photo by Honey Yanibel Minaya Cruz on Unsplash


9 thoughts on “Mental Rubik’s Cube

  1. Wow, the concept of anxiety is really fascinating, and I hope you are able to cope with it ASAP, the metaphor for mental Rubik’s cube also sounds great. Great post.

    PS. If you do have Netflix subscription, I would suggest you to watch the mind explained, I have recently watched it and it covers anxiety as a topic. I think you may appreciate it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot! πŸ™‚. It’s definitely a complex subject/phenomenon!

      And thank you, yes it sounds like the sort of thing I would watch, haha. My brother would be able to give me log in details, so I might!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It is so helpful to hear our own thoughts aloud sometimes. When our thoughts trapped in our minds, they are kinda make sense inside our head. Once we hear those thoughts audibly, we kinda realise how illogical they are.

    Liked by 1 person

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