Give Me Strength

Give me strength!

I just came to realise that the zombie housemate was away,
And simultaneously they were back,

I was just ready to go outside and enjoy the sun,
Whilst cooking some food,

When they walked through the door;

I broke my nocturnal routine,
But now again I’m back in hiding,

That person just makes me shudder,
Makes me cringe from inside outΒΉ;

I tried to make a Dr appointment again,
So I can ask them to write me a letterΒ²,
But there’s just so much demand,
They never have a spare minute;

I daren’t ask what the estimated timescale is,
And I’m so stressed with feeling so limited and obstructed,

I just need the space and the time,
To take things step by step;

I’ve been working on fixing my scooter,
And I need the ability to relax,
The constant on-and-off stressful moments,
Are just too demotivating;

I just need to keep finding my ways,
To get through this periodβ€”
No matter if it’s summer or winter by the end,
I’ll deal with it and enjoy it,
And really begin to flourish,
Just so long as I’m not here…!

ΒΉ Thanks to Cassa Bassa for this wording :).
Β² Another letter supporting my need to be out of this house!

10 thoughts on “Give Me Strength

  1. “That person just makes me shudder,”
    “zombie housemate was away,
    And simultaneously they were back,”

    When I read these lines, my first impression was that maybe this is about a sleep paralysis demon, if not, maybe an imaginative character that terrorizes people often.

    The perspectives and analysis maybe different to others, but I find this a really interesting poem about mental health and the want to go out in this lockdown.

    Sprinkled with comforting day-to-day tasks to do, it’s enigmatic yet warm and relatable. β™‘
    Thoroughly enjoyed it Robin!

    And ah, even I want to go out but I understand that I can’t, atleast not right now. =(. I wish we all have the strength to stay home and that we all stay safe and sound.
    -Megha πŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Megha, thank you! That’s really interesting to see your perspective!

      Glad you enjoyed it, it was written out of absolute anger and frustration, just really needed to express it!

      Actually, by going outside, I was only referring to going out into the garden here. I bought a deck chair a few weeks ago, but the weather’s been a lot colder and it’s finally nice again. I’ve barely had any sunshine since the beginning of March πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ. I was living nocturnally to avoid housemates which was helping but also making it harder to take opportunities to get sunlight.

      It’s too complicated to explain it, but the housemate being around just made me want to hide in my room again, but if I just go back to getting up really early I can have those tasks out of the way and it’ll be easier to just get straight outside when I want to.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Ohβ€”

      “When I read these lines, my first impression was that maybe this is about a sleep paralysis demon, if not, maybe an imaginative character that terrorizes people often.”

      Hahaβ€” well that is very accurate for this person! They are a living sleep paralysis demon πŸ˜†. Terrorizes me often is completely accurate!

      Now that they seem to have detoxed by staying with a friend for a few days, it will not be long at all before they are back into an undead state! It’s frustrating that they suddenly switch back to being human when they need to show people that they’re doing ok…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I know it makes it so much harder for you, now that zombie housemate is back.
    But, there is a lot of optimism in your last verse, you will find the strength that you need!
    It must be so very difficult though just waiting to be out of that place.
    (sorry Robin!)

    Like

    1. Yeah. Whenever I get out of waiting mood (as earlier), then something happens which knocks me back again. The timing is always extra frustrating, like today.

      I’m determined to get up at 2am now, so I’ll still be fresh by the time it’s warm and sunny and I can use the earlier part of the day to be outside and things, which is usually more sunny anyway. It was just such a pain today because I got up at a ‘normal’ time in the morning! It’s difficult to forgive yourself for losing time for whatever reason, when it actually ends up resulting in the day being a lot more complicated and stressful because of housemates. I’m really determined now though!

      Once I have the major things out of the way in the day, then it’s not as important that they’re not around, I can just go outside and close my eyes and listen to a podcast with my headphones on :).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, Margie πŸ™‚. The most stressful kind of thing for me will always be the ability of people to turn good situations into bad through unnecessary actions, such as with my housemates.

        There are so many uncomfortable things over which you have no control (such as the virus), that unnecessary human-made frustrations are extra-stressful!

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Also 2 5 litre water containers just arrived in the post…extra water storage and self-sufficiency! So I don’t have to meet them as often :).

      Liked by 1 person

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