The Music That Heals Me

It’s amazing what music can do,
Sometimes;

There was a period when music held no joy anymore,
Those songs which I’d listened to, played and even sung,
Practised every day,
Without distraction or dissociation;

What a heartbreak to have been so depressed,
That not even music could help,
In fact music would just remind me of how far I’d fallen;

And then I was homeless,
Had to live in my car,
Cast out into an impossible, impossible, impossible situation,
Ultimately surviving through a series of miracles;

I was lucky, that’s for sure,
In combination, with what must’ve been a remarkable stamina;

In fact as soon as I’d left that unhealthy family environment,
I began to return to music once more,
And bit by bit, song by song,
I returned to my favourite artists,
And their music began to pick me up,
I even started to sing,
Though still ceaselessly tormented and distracted,
By repetitive, dissociative thoughts;

In the end music got me through it,
That’s for sure,
I’ve a lot to be thankful for;

Such beautiful moments there were,
Heartache followed by burning resurgence,
Turbulent times and peaceful times,
Moments of absolute joy,
And feeling of connectedness through emotion;

Once I’d come in from the cold,
Had somewhere to stay,
The music changed,
It no longer needed to be familiar, novel was desired,

But just the other day I heard one such song again,
And for a moment I felt such a connection to my previous self,
Here as I am, alone again,
But still on the brighter side of darkness;

I felt again, what is currently needed,
That stubborn persistence, persistence, persistence,
And I let the music heal me.

“Come inside from the cold and rest your weary soul,
You belong, you are loved, you are wanted,
You’re not alone.”

🌪